Hybrid Kingdom PSL

[no1likeme]

{ the “beach” episode }
for some more light-hearted/chaotic stuff happening at the hotel throughout the plot

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[comminuted]

[After a moment of quiet stillness, Conor nods.]

I think... I thought missing was wanting to go back, but I think it's actually knowing it doesn't exist to go back to. Or it never really did.

[sirenaic]

Hiraeth.

(( Said softly, almost musically. ))

That's the name of the feeling you're describing. It means 'homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was.'

[comminuted]

[That gets Conor thinking about the massive, nebulous before, in a more literal than poetic sense. He frowns, troubled but not exactly upset.]

My family was killed. They found the bodies. Mom, dad, two sisters. The doctors don't know if it's brain damage or trauma, but I don't remember them at all.

[sirenaic]

(( There's a noticeable pause, a lengthy silence between them. On Lucifer's side of it, it doesn't feel uncomfortable (little makes him truly uncomfortable). ))

Maybe that's some sort of mercy.

[comminuted]

Mm. [Again, Conor nods his agreement. It's hard to tell people about his family because they always want him to feel more than he does - Lucifer's response comes as a relief.

Conor quite likes talking to Lucifer, in fact.]

There's a lot missing. It's like... I'm still the same thing as everyone else, but I'm not like them anymore.

[He's aiming for a bonding thing here, Lucifer vs other angels + Conor vs other humans. He's just too emotionally cautious to be direct about it.]

[sirenaic]

(( A lot missing. Conor's memories, yes. Maybe some bit of what people would call his humanity? Only a very little, perhaps. He certainly isn't a monster, not now. Not by his own accord. He's been through something probably no other human can truly understand because they will never go through it. Still human, but changed, different. ))

Maybe we're not very different, little prince.

[comminuted]

[Conor's smile is always subtle, never wide enough to show his teeth or crease his cheeks, but the change in his eyes is unmistakable.]

I'm glad.

[sirenaic]

(( Nice. That kind of smile, however small or subtle, suits him far better than anything Lucifer saw him sporting while under the cult's influence. ))

Shall we call ourselves friends, then?

[comminuted]

Sure. I've got a lot of professionals and specialists and stuff right now... I could use more friends.

[Though when he really thinks about it, his number of potential friends is getting pretty high. He's sure his wariness with some of the hotel residents will diminish with time, and until then he's also got Lucas and Dae-hyun.

(If there's a little something extra in Conor's smile for the barest flicker of a moment, it's because of that last bit.)]

[sirenaic]

Let me tell you a secret.

(( And just to be a little extra about it, Lucifer looks around suspiciously before leaning in and lifting his hand to cup one side of his mouth as he whispers: ))

You can never have enough friends.

[comminuted]

[That little puff of air exhaled through his nose might have been a laugh. Maybe.]

How do you decide who to trust? I don't think I'm very good at that yet.

[sirenaic]

I... May not be the best person to offer advice on that. I don't know if you noticed, I've been betrayed a lot.

[comminuted]

That isn't your fault.

[Conor shoots his response back so quickly that it almost sounds sharp compared to his usual tone.]

If bad people keep finding you, the only other option is to be alone forever and no one can survive that.

[sirenaic]

(( Huh. It must be something about people with that specific face... They seem to be able to take him off-guard. Lucifer blinks, then smiles a muted smile. ))

I'm bad people, remember?

[comminuted]

Then are you just being nice to me so you can hurt me or use me later?

[Conor doesn't think so, but he tilts his head to indicate that it's not a rhetorical question.]

[sirenaic]

(( Cue the lifting of a brow. ))

Would a bad person admit to that plan?

(( Then, that almost gentle looks returns to his face. ))

I'm not alone, you know. It's just that no one ever hears about my companion because I won't let anyone speak ill of him.

(( The softness remains, but something grows sharper by degrees as he looks at Conor. ))

You look a lot like him. Maybe that's why I'm soft on you.

[comminuted]

[Oddly enough, Conor's just as pleased to hear that he looks like someone special to Lucifer as he was to discover that he and Lucifer are somewhat alike. He's just thrilled to find any connections after having so many severed by his experience with the cult.]

That's okay. It's a good enough reason for me. Will you tell me about him if I promise not to say anything insulting?

[sirenaic]

He's funny. He's always been able to make me laugh.

(( That was probably important in the early days after Lucifer created Hell and took himself and his ejection from Heaven far too seriously. ))

[comminuted]

You said his face looks like mine... does he have white hair too? [Another oddity that Conor's rarely been able to share with anyone - he's not fully albino, but melanin was the first to abandon this boy.]