unknownballad | [ archived ] Open RP Post

Seung isn't the sort to go out a lot. Not outside of his regularly scheduled study groups and law review. He works hard, tirelessly. Maybe someday in the near or distant future, the lack of sleep will catch up with him. But tonight it hasn't. What has caught up with him is the emptiness of his sprawling penthouse apartment. It's not event the quiet that bothers him. He prefers it quiet so he can study or read. He enjoys the ambient sounds of the city life happening so far below. But every now and then, he craves something else alive in his space.

He should probably invest in a plant. A hardy plant that's hard to kill, because Seung would neglect it fiercely.

The people in his study group are always inviting him out. Even though he always says no, they always invite him. He's not sure if it's out of any real interest to be friends, or just to be polite. OR maybe they can smell how rich he is and just want to be close to that. Who knows? Seung's never had time for meaningful relationships. He's always been too busy trying to be the very best to impress a family he hardly knows. But also staying away from said family. The most prestigious schools all over the world, a year of travel for fun (and to get his head on straight after something that got dangerously serious rattled him), and now he's in the US for law school. Studying with the same faces night after night. Studying alone long after they've gone to bed.

But one of them mentioned a bonfire tonight at some beach far outside the city. And that's where Seung finds himself. Yes, he works hard. But when he does play, it's just as hard. No one watching him interact would imagine that he doesn't have a flock of friends. Very little comes up that he can't speak on with some knowledge. He's full soft laughs and easy smiles, always with a drink in his hand to lubricate the social interactions even more. But eventually, he finds himself sitting on one of those folding camping chairs by the fire. Someone might think him tired with his distant gaze and sleepy eyes. The truth is, he usually looks like that. Leaning back in the chair, he tips his head back, eyes turning skyward.

No stars. This far out of the city, he should see stars. But also...

"It smells like rain," he murmurs to no one in particular.

Edited 2024-09-27 19:04 (UTC)

Rai, on the other hand, goes out a lot. With or without people depends on the day, but he's rarely at home. He put so much effort into making his place as perfect as he could for himself and he's still so rarely there. All open concept, high ceilings and easy rooftop access. Floor to ceiling windows covering almost the entirety of one wall and a balcony with doors that are almost always open. But at the end of the day, a cage is still a cage and the bird much prefers his time away from it.

Plus, out is where all of the people are. Out is where there are opportunities for Rai to stave off some of those lonely feelings he so often refuses to acknowledge. Out is where he can find some willing person to fill the void.

Rai was high above the beach when he spotted the fire and the people gathered around it down below. It seemed like the perfect opportunity for someone looking to fill his night (and his bed, if he's being honest) since these sorts of things tend to take all kinds. He'd landed on some faraway part of the beach where no one would see the oversized bird shed his feathers and take human form.

It doesn't take too long for him to get to the bonfire and it's throng of people, and once he arrives, he integrates into the party rather seamlessly, though he does little more than offer the occasional greeting as he makes his way closer to the warmth of the fire. He stops behind the young man staring up at the sky, peering down at that upturned face then looking skyward himself. As though he isn't already intimately familiar with what's going on up there at any given time, really.

"You think? That can't be right. Who would have a bonfire like this when it might rain~?"

Seung doesn't blink when the stranger's face moves into his line of sight. Most of the people here are strangers and that hasn't stopped him from socializing with any of them. He closes his eyes and inhales again — it definitely smells like it's going to rain. When he opens them again, he simply peers up at Rai.

"The forecast didn't call for rain tonight, but meteorology isn't an exact science." Maybe if it's just a light rain, the bonfire won't be effected. People might not run for cover. But Seung can't guess since he can't see the clouds in the dark.

"What will you do if it rains?"

Rai rests his hands on the back of Seung's chair, just behind his shoulders and turns his attention fully to the young man he's standing over. It does smell like rain. Even the overwhelming smells of burning wood and ocean can't entirely mask the fresh scent of the coming rain. Nor can the fire entirely ward off the damp chill in the air that's unlike the usual feel of the ocean air.

"I suppose meteorologists do make mistakes all the time." It is rather difficult when they're tracking natural weather patterns and not also trying to account for the whims of a mythical bird. They do their best, though, with the information they have available to them.

"Depends on what you decide to do."

"Me?" Seung takes another deep breath, a very subtle smile curling his lips. "I like the rain," he says first, knowing he hasn't answered the question. Those half-lidded eyes close once again and Seung lifts his head to take a sip from his red plastic party cup. After he swallows, he looks up once more, focus on Rai's face rather than the dark and cloudy sky above them. "So, ideally," he drawls out softly, the words bearing the odd accent of someone who's spoken too many languages for any one to stand out. "I would find a handsome stranger who didn't mind it either so we could walk a while until finding shelter together."

"Mhm." Rai slides his hands down the sides of the chair a little ways, bringing his face just that much closer to Seung's, just on the edge of what might be considered socially acceptable. Or maybe not. He doesn't pay very close attention to what is and isn't socially acceptable. Just enough to get him by and to keep him from standing out too much.

It's been working for him so far.

When Seung looks away from him to drink, Rai turns his head to glance toward the ocean. It's already started to rain out there and it's gradually closing in on them. It won't be terribly long until they start feeling the first few drops. His attention shouldn't be on the storm clouds, though, but rather the attractive young man looking up at him. Rai quickly rectifies that, looking back down at Seung.

"A handsome stranger who doesn't mind getting a little wet, hm? Your search is over."

"Oh?" A warm half-smile pulls at his lips, eyes nearly closing (though they don't quite since he's content to peer up at his handsome stranger). "Lucky me. But,maybe, it would be more practical to get a ride somewhere. I live pretty far away."

"Mmmmhm," Rai repeats, drawing out the sound a little more this time. Eyes starting to wander over Seung's face, Rai takes in that half smile first before taking in the rest of it. The rest of the world seems to fall away for a time as he fully focuses on the young man beneath him. The chatter of the party goers, the crackling of the fire, the ocean waves, it all becomes meaningless background noise. It's all perfectly inconsequential in the face of the human Rai intends to spend at least the next few hours with, if not the whole night.

"Mmm I don't think a ride'll be necessary just yet. I'm not far from here."

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grindr - 2024-10-04 01:24 (UTC) - Expand

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Seung's a caffeine addict. Anyone who's spent more than an hour or two in his company has figured that fact out pretty quickly. When he's at home, he just makes coffee himself, but the lion's share of his time is spent on or around NYU campus. So, if he's out, he just buys himself an chai latte — dirty or filthy, depending on how little sleep he squeezed in the night before.

In a campus cafe, he always stands out without meaning to. It's because he dresses in things that most students couldn't afford in a year. His wrist watch and cologne out price some cars. It's just what he's always been accustomed to; it's not to show off. Sadly, he is one of those people that may as well have a neon sign flashing over his head declaring to all who lay eyes on him that money is no object.

Maybe that's part of why his social circle has always been small. Some people aren't comfortable being close to that kind of wealth. Some crave to be close to it in a completely superficial way (which, honestly, Seung doesn't mind. Most of his relationships are pretty superficial. It makes them easy, simple.). Plus, he's just too busy to really maintain any meaningful social connections. Law school eats up most of his free time. It's in Seung's nature to give his everything and excel; to make his family proud of him.

It's a day like any other when he's standing in a busy cafe on the way to campus. He's waiting for his filthy chai latte (he only got about three hours sleep last night) when he hears something the cuts over the din of people chatting and machines whirring. It's such a simple thing, the barista calling out a macchiato. Nothing fancy. But it's the smallest details that throw him into the grips of nostalgia. Macchiato, what Jay used to order. Seung hasn't thought about Jay since he came to New York. Not consciously, at least.

The cafe turned into a movie scene with a single word. The noise around him faded and Seung unconsciously turns his eyes to see who's picking up the drink that made butterflies begin to beat their wings in his stomach. What — or rather, who he sees makes his heart stop. His stomach drops and he's sure he sucked in an audible breath when he saw the familiar outline of his... what? His ex, really. Is there any better word to describe Jay? He's definitely more than just someone Seung used to fuck. So much more. Even now, Jay means so much more than that to Seung. He always has... which exactly is why Seung ran away with little more than a text to say goodbye.

It scared him how much he wanted Jay in ways far beyond the physical. Wants Jay. He's barely thought of the guy in the last year and suddenly... all the feelings he fled from back in Japan came washing over him like a deluge. He has half a mind to leave, to ignore the drink he ordered and just vanish into the crowded street outside. But the other half? It carries his feet (without his consent) right up the boy he once abandoned, right up to the counter where Jay's reaching for his drink. And, again without his consent, words start to tumble out of his mouth. Words in his sloppy, unidentifiable accent — words in heavily and strangely accented English, this time. Not Japanese. Not Korean. Not even French, which Seung was always very fond of speaking to Jay.

Hello, 911? Yes, this is an emergency.

It's a very bad idea and if his racing mind could just catch up with what the rest of him is doing, it would put a stop to this before any of it even began... Repeated? Shit, shit, shit! What is he evening saying? There are definitely words tumbling out of his mouth, words so casual any onlooker would never guess he's feeling so much turmoil.

"Jay? Wow, what are you doing here? God, you look good." Pause. "Wait, no. Not in an 'I'm hitting on you' kind of way. In a... you look well kind of way."

It's been no more than a week since he'd come to New York. His parents had initially disagreed with his decision about the move, but he made a good case about the world class universities in the United States and how throwing his lot in with the English speakers will help him to maintain his hold on the language. He'd listed reason after reason for why this was a good idea, conveniently leaving out by far not the biggest reason, but the most personal: Japan holds a lot of memories for him that he's not sure he can move on from until he moves on from the whole country.

They agreed that it was a good idea, not knowing that his transfer to the overseas university was already in the works and he was set to fly out the following day.

It's only been a week but he already feels like the change has been good for him. It's like a fresh start. There's no place he can point to and say that's where they spent the whole night fucking after they slipped out of that one party, or that shop is where they grabbed some coffee and accidentally spent a few hours just talking. No this place is completely free of him. There are no traces of his... Frankly, Jay's not even sure what they were to each other.

Life as an NYU student starts soon, so Jay's been trying to get to know the campus a little more. Get his bearings at his new school, in his new country, surrounded by all of these new people. And, of course, sample the offerings at the campus cafe.

Jay steps up to the counter and orders a macchiato for himself. It's been his drink of choice ever since it was first introduced to him. Caffeine enough to sustain him, milk to take the edge off of the bitterness without removing it entirely, a little creamy without feeling too heavy. How did he go from being otherwise indifferent to caffeinated beverages to affectionately monologuing about macchiato in his head? Actually, he already knows the answer to that.

Reaching out to take his coffee with his own heavily accented English, Jay pauses when he hears his name. No, it's more like he freezes. No one here knows his name yet aside from some faculty and he didn't see any of them when he walked in here. Besides, none of them have that strange tangle of accents that he can still hear whispering in his ear when he's trying to fall asleep at night.

Of all the places he could've gone after leaving Japan, he had to end up in the same place Jay did, didn't he?

Taking in a deep breath and trying desperately to keep his flood of emotions from his face, Jay puts on a friendly smile for the one who got away. No, the one who ran away.

"You know, I remember you being a lot smoother than that."

Oh my god! Does Jay have to call out Seung's awkwardness like that? Jay's not wrong, though. He's usually a lot smoother than this. He's usually not fighting to pluck a single thought from his head. He usually doesn't have knots in his stomach. He usually thinks before letting words fall unbidden out of his mouth.

What's this power Jay (still) has over him? Seung closes his eyes, forcing a little laugh that could almost sound natural to anyone who didn't know him as well as Jay does. He's just an ex, Seung reminds himself. Nothing to be afraid. Jay couldn't possibly know what's going on inside unless Seung keeps giving him very single clue on a silver platter.

Be cool, Seung. You're good at that, remember? Be cool.

Something in his body language shifts with a single breath. One deep, cleansing breath. Long enough to find some sensible course of his thoughts. Long enough to stifle those fucking butterflies flapping away. When he laughs again, if feels more real.

"Touché. You caught me before I've had any coffee."

And thank god for that! If he'd seen Jay with a cup of anything in his hand, he would've dropped it. That's the opposite of smooth.

At least with the surprise of seeing probably the very last person he ever expected to see again passes... It's easy to be his coll, collected self. At least on the outside.

"But really..." He stops short, choking off an endearment that was so common when they were together before. "What brings you here?"

After what Seung put him through by disappearing and only telling him once there was no chance to go after him to talk him out of it, yes Jay has to call out his awkwardness. And possibly every other slip up of Seung's. A little bit of petty revenge for the feelings of abandonment that came just on the heels of Jay starting to think that maybe they could one day become something more.

He'd long since given up on the idea of ever getting the chance. Turns out all he had to do was uproot his life and move to another foreign country. Maybe if he'd left on a whim, he'd have run into Seung sooner. Did he want to run into him sooner though? Well, yes. No? Maybe.

Jay echoes Seung's laugh with a derisive laugh of his own, forming a odd sort of disconnect with the still friendly expression. "You forget that I've seen you before your coffee plenty?" And he would love to again. All this time, all those hurt feelings, all this want to get his petty digs in and he's pretty sure he'd still spend the night with Seung if he asked.

All it took was hearing Seung say his name again to want to forget everything that happened and just go right back to whatever they were.

He's actually grateful when someone tries to get past him, forcing him to step to the side and put a little more distance between himself and Seung. It feels like it dispels some of the awkward tension that's so present between them, even if only by a fraction.

The space gives him a chance to breathe and to stop his head from spinning. It gives him a chance to really think about how all of the choices they both made since Seung left Japan somehow lead them to being in this very cafe at the same time. That has to mean something, right? Or the universe is just setting Jay up to fail again.

"I transferred here to-" Get away from memories of you. "To continue my studies. I thought studying in an English country might look good on a resume some day." That's only a small part of it. "Starting Monday, I am an NYU student."

Jay deserves his petty digs. He deserves that and so much more. And Seung knows he deserves to have every flaw, his every misstep with Jay flung in his face. Even Seung thought they were more than just two people who slept together. Surely Jay felt that way, too? Even if he didn't, just vanishing was cruel.

"And was I particularly charming every single time?" Surely once or twice he was less than impressive, right?

The other patron squeezing between them comes as a welcome relief. The entrance of another person when they'd all faded into the scenery breaks the spell. Seung's thoughts stop falling all over each other (and right out of his mouth). The butterflies slow the beating of their wings and it feels like he can breathe more easily.

"Are you in grad school now?" Why does Seung care? He genuinely does, but it's also casual and natural enough that it could seem like small talk, like part of a conversation that can be done and over once they walk out the door. And then, to seem less like he's prying without offering anything in turn, Seung adds, "I'm in law school." Quite a change from the mechanical engineering degree he secured in Japan.

It's never been uncommon for Jay to make some snide or sarcastic remarks at the expense of those around him, though no one ever really took it too seriously. 'Don't mind him. He doesn't really mean anything by it' which was true. Still is true, usually. This time, though, there's more to it. This time it's because Seung deserves it. And because it's easier to make these petty digs than to admit that Seung's leaving actually hurt him. He spent a while lying to himself, trying to believe that it was just disappointment at losing such a good fuck buddy. The reality was that he just missed Seung. Somewhere along the line, Seung had become important to him and then he up and disappeared.

"At the time, I found you very charming. No matter what you did. No matter how you acted. Every single time." Jay looks Seung up and down, making a face as he seems to think on it a little more. "Looking back on it now though, no. You weren't so charming every time. Blinded by my want to sleep with you, I guess."

Maybe Jay should have taken it as a sign of Seung's importance to him much sooner that even Seung before his morning coffee, when he definitely wasn't at his best, used to be able to get a smile out of him. Yes, it just as easily could've been because they weren't something more serious that he didn't let those things bother him, but it wasn't. Jay can say with the utmost certainty that there was more to it than that.

"I'm in grad school, yeah." He doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to chitchat like they're some never quite friends, almost strangers at their ten year high school reunion or something. Exchanging pleasantries because it seems like the right thing to do. What he wants is to ask Seung why the hell he left and why he chose such a cold way to let Jay know. Instead he just nods as Seung continues.

"I don-" I don't care, he tries to make himself say. The problem with that, Jaewon, is that you do care. You care a lot. "Good luck with that."

Yeah, this is so uncomfortable. Seung's relieved when he hears them call his name (mispronounced, as usual). With a quick 'excuse me', he steps up to the counter to retrieve his coffee. He has a small exchange with the barista until he returns with a napkin in hand. Which he then hands to Jay.

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time to catch up, but here's my number. Feel free to call or text me."

This is very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough that he wants to avoid this cafe in the future. He'll find a new place to get coffee. He'll get it on his way to school or he'll start making it at home in the mornings. Maybe it's time to give up on caffeine entirely. It's a side effect of his time with Seung anyway. Seung's influence lead him down a caffeinated path. Maybe it's time to quit. The first step toward quitting Seung, too.

Jay takes the offered napkin and looks down at the numbers scribbled on it. "Don't worry. You don't have to stick around on my account. I don't want to disrupt your busy day." Truthfully. Even though he probably already has. Jay turns to someone standing nearby, holding out the napkin to them (he's memorized the number on it. He'll put it in his phone later). "Hey, he asked me to give you his phone number." He nods toward Seung. "He's dying to fuck you. Or fuck you over. Sorry, English isn't my first language and I get those confused." He looks back over at Seung, that friendly smile back in place. "So I guess we're done here, then?"

le fin?

grindr - 2024-10-10 21:14 (UTC) - Expand

[ continued from here ]

And now seung’s going to be distracted for the next 20-ish hours. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t think of Jay a lot. It’s only recently that he hasn’t been a pervasive thought. Seung doesn’t have much time to think about much other than law school.

He's not usually a morning person so even a noon engagement is early for him. He gets up early so 1) he won’t lose track of time and be late and 2) so he has time to make sure his makeup and clothes are perfect. Is casual sexy a thing? It is for Seung. He opts for a nice white button down and black slacks with some understated jewelry. You can bet Seung toiled in front of the mirror over how many buttons to do up. He didn’t want to make it seem like he was desperate to get Jay back or anything. Even if that might be closer to the truth than he cares to admit.

Seung even arrives early. But not so early as to appear overly eager. No, he waits outside for a solid fifteen minutes until his overpriced watch read 11:55. If he sucks in a deep breath before walking through the door, no he didn’t! Mind your business!

Seung isn't the only one distracted. After he sent that one last text about the time, he tossed his phone down and spent the rest of his night digging through his closet, putting together and deciding against outfit after outfit. It was times like that when he started to realize that he has an annoyingly large amount of clothing and how much he hated all of it (he doesn't. He was just paralyzed by choice). There was no reason to be so stressed or anxious about picking out clothes to go to lunch in, but he spent probably three hours doing it.

And even after all of that, he woke up the following morning and put the outfit he chose back into his closet and put on something else. He started with something a little more dressy but ultimately decided that casual is better. Make it look like he didn't put hours worth of thought into it. Jeans and a t-shirt along with some carefully selected bracelets and necklaces. His hair is artfully messy and frames his face perfectly. All part of the 'effortless' look that he's going for, which took a lot of effort to achieve.

Jay arrives early as well. An over eager seeming amount of time early. In his defence, Jay is a morning person and sitting around his apartment for hours was just killing him. So he showed up at the restaurant about an hour early, and spent roughly the next half an hour browsing nearby shops. Getting to know his new city, or whatever. That means, though, that he's already inside once Seung arrives. He spends the time alone with his cell phone in hand, casually scrolling through his various social media accounts. Or at least that's what it looks like he's doing. In reality, he's staring at the time up in the corner, watching it pass minute by minute. Watching it get closer to noon. The only times he looks away from those painfully slow numbers is whenever the door opens.

Why does he feel nervous? Why is his stomach in knots? Why does it feel worse when it's finally Seung who walks through the door? Why is he letting Seung still make him feel like this?

Jay shoves his phone in his pocket and stands up at the table so Seung can easily see where he is. Here goes nothing.

It’s just lunch, Seung tries to remind himself. Don’t think ahead to the weekend they’ve already agreed to spend together… and then agreed to not spend together. Don’t think back to heated nights with Jay sprawled out on obscenely expensive sheets, with the sound of his moans and cries filling the room, with the taste of his skin on Seung’s lips.

Right. Good job not thinking about that the second he sees Jay sitting there. How could he not when that’s the experience he’s been chasing ever since he left Japan?

Seung feels like his stomach drops out when Jay sees him, when he stands up to get his attention (as if he’s not a beacon in any place they are together, as if Seung isn’t drawn to him like a moth to the flame). Maybe it’s because of how he abandoned Jay. Or maybe it’s because of how intensely he feels about Jay – feelings that prompted him to hop a plane and leave the country they met in without any notice.

Oh right, don’t stand there like an idiot. Be cool.

He lifts a hand to wave a second before he walks over to where Jay’s seated. Somehow, it was like seeing Jay for the first time. Everything about him is so… perfect. The effortless look, the casual clothes. He just looks amazing. If anyone else is in the restaurant, Seung doesn’t see them at all. There’s no one else worth paying attention to as far as he’s concerned.

He slides effortlessly into the seat across from Jay, offering an easy smile. “Can you please stop looking so fine every time we meet? It’s distracting.”

It's just lunch. It's nothing to get so worked up about. He doesn't need to feel so anxious. It's only lunch with the man who's made a permanent home for himself in Jay's thoughts. It isn't as though every lover he's had since Seung has been compared to him. It's not like he doesn't have to stop himself from telling other men that he's in the midst of sleeping with that it's not how Seung used to do it. That's not how Seung kissed him. That's not how Seung touched him. That's not how Seung felt when he-

It's just lunch. It's just lunch that he spent hours preparing for. It's just lunch that he arrived early for. And their planned weekend is just a weekend. A weekend of them getting together and probably doing what they do best together. A weekend planned before they've even had the lunch. The lunch that could go poorly. Even if it does? Jay still wants his weekend.

As Seung approaches, Jay is suddenly so glad that they didn't agree to meet outside and come in together or something. The distance allows him the time to get his feelings in order about just how good Seung looks. Now that the shock of their chance meeting in the campus cafe is gone, he can really admire the man. He can appreciate how incredible he looks. He can admit to himself that he is still so very attracted to this man.

"Haven't you figured it out yet?" Jay takes his seat again. He'd almost forgotten just how much he enjoys being near Seung. He enjoys the other's presence. Please, Seung, don't take that away from him. Don't fuck this up. "The whole point is to be distracting."

"Mission accomplished. I am well and fully distracted." As if to drive the point home, Seung rests his elbow on the table and then cups his chin in his hand, staring (no, mooning) at Jay.

"Have you been here long enough to look at the menu?"

"Good. I always liked being the centre of your attention." Jay smiles (a genuine smile. Not the forced friendly smile like when he first encountered Seung in the cafe and not his own brand of sassy smirk, but the genuine smile of someone pleased with his current company) and mimics Seung, resting his elbow on the table and cups his chin in his hand.

"Not really." Actually yes, but he just didn't. He was too preoccupied with staring at the time on his phone. "I've been told that the yakitori here is pretty decent though so I'll probably try that. The assorted sushi rolls look pretty good too." He nods toward a table near theirs. "A plate of it just went to the table behind you."

"We could do it family-style. A little of this, a little of that and share it all." He knows he doesn't need to explain what family style is to Jay. They've had it more than once while they were in Japan.

But he leaves the suggestion open for Jay to accept or reject. It's probably not a familiar trait. Seung is definitely a selfish person and letting someone else have control and make decisions isn't something he does naturally. It's a conscious effort he's making for Jay. Only for Jay. Because the best way to say he's sorry is to show he's changed.

It's not a familiar trait at all. In fact, it throws Jay off and leaves in perfect speechless for just long enough to be noticeable. When they were together ("together") in Japan, Jay often made suggestions, but Seung was usually the one making the decisions and otherwise being in control of the situation. He was so taken with Seung that he was fine doing whatever he wanted to do. Looking back on it now, he's not quite as fine with having allowed himself to be lead around like a puppy.

Jay sits back in his seat with his arms folded across his chest and looks off to the side as he ponders what it is they should do. Also to make it seem as though his stunned silence is merely part of him considering the suggestion. "Yeah, okay. Let's go family-style."

Allowed to make his own decision and he just ends up going with Seung's suggestion anyway.

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@electrique

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@callidus

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the actual look on his face right now

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le fin?

@callidus

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because I'm surrently obsessed with soba

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