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It's been no more than a week since he'd come to New York. His parents had initially disagreed with his decision about the move, but he made a good case about the world class universities in the United States and how throwing his lot in with the English speakers will help him to maintain his hold on the language. He'd listed reason after reason for why this was a good idea, conveniently leaving out by far not the biggest reason, but the most personal: Japan holds a lot of memories for him that he's not sure he can move on from until he moves on from the whole country.

They agreed that it was a good idea, not knowing that his transfer to the overseas university was already in the works and he was set to fly out the following day.

It's only been a week but he already feels like the change has been good for him. It's like a fresh start. There's no place he can point to and say that's where they spent the whole night fucking after they slipped out of that one party, or that shop is where they grabbed some coffee and accidentally spent a few hours just talking. No this place is completely free of him. There are no traces of his... Frankly, Jay's not even sure what they were to each other.

Life as an NYU student starts soon, so Jay's been trying to get to know the campus a little more. Get his bearings at his new school, in his new country, surrounded by all of these new people. And, of course, sample the offerings at the campus cafe.

Jay steps up to the counter and orders a macchiato for himself. It's been his drink of choice ever since it was first introduced to him. Caffeine enough to sustain him, milk to take the edge off of the bitterness without removing it entirely, a little creamy without feeling too heavy. How did he go from being otherwise indifferent to caffeinated beverages to affectionately monologuing about macchiato in his head? Actually, he already knows the answer to that.

Reaching out to take his coffee with his own heavily accented English, Jay pauses when he hears his name. No, it's more like he freezes. No one here knows his name yet aside from some faculty and he didn't see any of them when he walked in here. Besides, none of them have that strange tangle of accents that he can still hear whispering in his ear when he's trying to fall asleep at night.

Of all the places he could've gone after leaving Japan, he had to end up in the same place Jay did, didn't he?

Taking in a deep breath and trying desperately to keep his flood of emotions from his face, Jay puts on a friendly smile for the one who got away. No, the one who ran away.

"You know, I remember you being a lot smoother than that."

Oh my god! Does Jay have to call out Seung's awkwardness like that? Jay's not wrong, though. He's usually a lot smoother than this. He's usually not fighting to pluck a single thought from his head. He usually doesn't have knots in his stomach. He usually thinks before letting words fall unbidden out of his mouth.

What's this power Jay (still) has over him? Seung closes his eyes, forcing a little laugh that could almost sound natural to anyone who didn't know him as well as Jay does. He's just an ex, Seung reminds himself. Nothing to be afraid. Jay couldn't possibly know what's going on inside unless Seung keeps giving him very single clue on a silver platter.

Be cool, Seung. You're good at that, remember? Be cool.

Something in his body language shifts with a single breath. One deep, cleansing breath. Long enough to find some sensible course of his thoughts. Long enough to stifle those fucking butterflies flapping away. When he laughs again, if feels more real.

"Touché. You caught me before I've had any coffee."

And thank god for that! If he'd seen Jay with a cup of anything in his hand, he would've dropped it. That's the opposite of smooth.

At least with the surprise of seeing probably the very last person he ever expected to see again passes... It's easy to be his coll, collected self. At least on the outside.

"But really..." He stops short, choking off an endearment that was so common when they were together before. "What brings you here?"

After what Seung put him through by disappearing and only telling him once there was no chance to go after him to talk him out of it, yes Jay has to call out his awkwardness. And possibly every other slip up of Seung's. A little bit of petty revenge for the feelings of abandonment that came just on the heels of Jay starting to think that maybe they could one day become something more.

He'd long since given up on the idea of ever getting the chance. Turns out all he had to do was uproot his life and move to another foreign country. Maybe if he'd left on a whim, he'd have run into Seung sooner. Did he want to run into him sooner though? Well, yes. No? Maybe.

Jay echoes Seung's laugh with a derisive laugh of his own, forming a odd sort of disconnect with the still friendly expression. "You forget that I've seen you before your coffee plenty?" And he would love to again. All this time, all those hurt feelings, all this want to get his petty digs in and he's pretty sure he'd still spend the night with Seung if he asked.

All it took was hearing Seung say his name again to want to forget everything that happened and just go right back to whatever they were.

He's actually grateful when someone tries to get past him, forcing him to step to the side and put a little more distance between himself and Seung. It feels like it dispels some of the awkward tension that's so present between them, even if only by a fraction.

The space gives him a chance to breathe and to stop his head from spinning. It gives him a chance to really think about how all of the choices they both made since Seung left Japan somehow lead them to being in this very cafe at the same time. That has to mean something, right? Or the universe is just setting Jay up to fail again.

"I transferred here to-" Get away from memories of you. "To continue my studies. I thought studying in an English country might look good on a resume some day." That's only a small part of it. "Starting Monday, I am an NYU student."

Jay deserves his petty digs. He deserves that and so much more. And Seung knows he deserves to have every flaw, his every misstep with Jay flung in his face. Even Seung thought they were more than just two people who slept together. Surely Jay felt that way, too? Even if he didn't, just vanishing was cruel.

"And was I particularly charming every single time?" Surely once or twice he was less than impressive, right?

The other patron squeezing between them comes as a welcome relief. The entrance of another person when they'd all faded into the scenery breaks the spell. Seung's thoughts stop falling all over each other (and right out of his mouth). The butterflies slow the beating of their wings and it feels like he can breathe more easily.

"Are you in grad school now?" Why does Seung care? He genuinely does, but it's also casual and natural enough that it could seem like small talk, like part of a conversation that can be done and over once they walk out the door. And then, to seem less like he's prying without offering anything in turn, Seung adds, "I'm in law school." Quite a change from the mechanical engineering degree he secured in Japan.

It's never been uncommon for Jay to make some snide or sarcastic remarks at the expense of those around him, though no one ever really took it too seriously. 'Don't mind him. He doesn't really mean anything by it' which was true. Still is true, usually. This time, though, there's more to it. This time it's because Seung deserves it. And because it's easier to make these petty digs than to admit that Seung's leaving actually hurt him. He spent a while lying to himself, trying to believe that it was just disappointment at losing such a good fuck buddy. The reality was that he just missed Seung. Somewhere along the line, Seung had become important to him and then he up and disappeared.

"At the time, I found you very charming. No matter what you did. No matter how you acted. Every single time." Jay looks Seung up and down, making a face as he seems to think on it a little more. "Looking back on it now though, no. You weren't so charming every time. Blinded by my want to sleep with you, I guess."

Maybe Jay should have taken it as a sign of Seung's importance to him much sooner that even Seung before his morning coffee, when he definitely wasn't at his best, used to be able to get a smile out of him. Yes, it just as easily could've been because they weren't something more serious that he didn't let those things bother him, but it wasn't. Jay can say with the utmost certainty that there was more to it than that.

"I'm in grad school, yeah." He doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to chitchat like they're some never quite friends, almost strangers at their ten year high school reunion or something. Exchanging pleasantries because it seems like the right thing to do. What he wants is to ask Seung why the hell he left and why he chose such a cold way to let Jay know. Instead he just nods as Seung continues.

"I don-" I don't care, he tries to make himself say. The problem with that, Jaewon, is that you do care. You care a lot. "Good luck with that."

Yeah, this is so uncomfortable. Seung's relieved when he hears them call his name (mispronounced, as usual). With a quick 'excuse me', he steps up to the counter to retrieve his coffee. He has a small exchange with the barista until he returns with a napkin in hand. Which he then hands to Jay.

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time to catch up, but here's my number. Feel free to call or text me."

This is very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough that he wants to avoid this cafe in the future. He'll find a new place to get coffee. He'll get it on his way to school or he'll start making it at home in the mornings. Maybe it's time to give up on caffeine entirely. It's a side effect of his time with Seung anyway. Seung's influence lead him down a caffeinated path. Maybe it's time to quit. The first step toward quitting Seung, too.

Jay takes the offered napkin and looks down at the numbers scribbled on it. "Don't worry. You don't have to stick around on my account. I don't want to disrupt your busy day." Truthfully. Even though he probably already has. Jay turns to someone standing nearby, holding out the napkin to them (he's memorized the number on it. He'll put it in his phone later). "Hey, he asked me to give you his phone number." He nods toward Seung. "He's dying to fuck you. Or fuck you over. Sorry, English isn't my first language and I get those confused." He looks back over at Seung, that friendly smile back in place. "So I guess we're done here, then?"

Fuck! That’s like a kick to the gut. Seung actually feels the breath leave his lungs like Jay landed a physical blow. He might as well have slapped Seung across the face. It stings and, for only a fraction of a second, the hurt and surprise (why should he be surprised after he what he did? Is it surprising that it hurts so much?) show clearly on his face.

But then his smile returns, attention shifting to the young man Jay handed his number to. “Yeah, we’re done here,” he croons. It hard to pretend like Jay isn’t right there, like he isn’t walking out with his coffee in hand while Seung wastes time flirting with someone to spite him. And yet…

At least it’s only a moment because he really does have to leave.

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le fin?