[Something in Horus's chest clenches painfully tight.]
Don't. I already said it's not your fault. [He clears his throat, swallows audibly.] And thanks for telling me. I don't always... well, I guess sometimes I forget. How hard life is for humans.
[He doesn't respect humans the way he should, is what he was about to say. Instead, he quietly adds:]
Well, for one thing, it seems like you know no damn fear. Which is a pain in my ass right now, but also impressive.
[Horus chuckles, before falling silent as he tries to find the right words for what he wants to say next.]
And... I guess I'm so used to being driven by hatred because of how and when I was born, I just assumed you were the same? But you're doing what you do for love. That's a better way to live.
(( Oh, the Church would be so fussy if they knew for a second Emmanuel was trying to educate someone on faith and doctrine. ))
I think... Humans, we want to think life isn't just random chaos. We need the believe in something more. Whatever it was in the beginning, my faith is something different now. The opposition of God and Satan is usually painted as good versus evil but...
The God of the Old Testament flooded the world. He punished humanity for nothing greater than disobedience. Does that sound like a loving and caring God to you? Does it sound like someone with an over abundance of forgiveness in His heart?
Evil is often defined as acting a morally incorrect way. But human morals are far from some standard universal force. If the Devil really is evil, he'd have to change and adapt perpetually to fit every possible idea of what evil is. It doesn't make a lot of sense to position God as goodness and Satan as evil. Even the dichotomy of order and chaos doesn't quite work. There are so many unanswered questions.
If I ever meet the Devil, I'd like to ask him some.
(( And that's probably the most Emmanuel's said to anyone in one sitting in years. Congratulations, Horus. ))
[That's followed by the longest silence yet. Horus knows he's just been told something very important and he doesn't want to respond without putting serious thought into it, but he's also far out of his depth talking about things like evil and punishment.]
Then it's treated like... more of a competition. Not like Ma'at, which is meant to be eternal. One side, good or evil, is eventually supposed to win. Is that right?
[And again, this is why Horus respects him so much. All Horus wants to do is tear Set limb from limb, but Emmanuel wants to look his supposed enemy in the eye and try to understand him more thoroughly. Even after suffering such a huge loss so early. And despite having all these questions and doubts, he never stops in his task because people need his help.]
That just proves what I said. You do things for the right reasons. I think that's why Dad gave me this job - he figures I can learn from you.
[That's... not only the nicest thing Emmanuel has ever said to him, but also the nicest thing he's heard Emmanuel say about anybody.]
Yeah? [Horus's smile is audible in his voice because he's absolutely beaming.] Same here, man.
[He finally settles back into bed then, looking up at the ceiling without feeling all that tired at all anymore. With a glance over at Emmanuel's back, he asks:]
How you feeling over there? Think you can sleep again? [The most general of questions, as if both of them aren't perfectly aware that Horus knows what state he was really in.]
We can wrap this one up or go on to morning if you like.
(( He genuinely thinks Horus is a decent guy. He's looking out for someone in whom he has no investment or obligation. He's doing a damn good job of it. He's not half-assing it. He was genuinely concerned for Emmanuel's well being and how can he forget that guilt he felt because Emmanuel got his face smashed into a wall (which was not in any way due to any deficiency on Horus' part as far as the priest is concerned). Sure, maybe angry and hatred and a few other less-than-savory things are motivating him to act against Set, but Emmanuel thinks he'd be in this camp even without all that because he understands what's wrong and what one shouldn't do to others. ))
I'll get there.
(( It takes some time, but thankfully his shame at having been exposed like that went a long way in killing the feelings that inspired his stupid little fit to begin with. Once he gets back to sleep, it's mostly sound. ))
When he closes his eyes, he's immediately accosted by the mental image of Emmanuel's face while caught in the throes of what he now knows to have been arousal. Flushed, gleaming with sweat, contorted from the intensity of sensation...
His eyes fly open again. A couple of deep breaths, and he closes them.
This time he sees the outline of Emmanuel's erection straining against his pyjama bottoms and pitching a very respectably-sized tent.
Welp. Maybe Horus won't be trying to sleep for awhile.]
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Don't. I already said it's not your fault. [He clears his throat, swallows audibly.] And thanks for telling me. I don't always... well, I guess sometimes I forget. How hard life is for humans.
[He doesn't respect humans the way he should, is what he was about to say. Instead, he quietly adds:]
I respect you a lot, you know.
no subject
(( Him specifically? Well, that's certainly a welcome distraction. Definitely better than anything else currently going on for Emmanuel. ))
I'm not sure I understand why.
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[Horus chuckles, before falling silent as he tries to find the right words for what he wants to say next.]
And... I guess I'm so used to being driven by hatred because of how and when I was born, I just assumed you were the same? But you're doing what you do for love. That's a better way to live.
no subject
I can't sit by idly if people are being hurt in front of me. That's why I can't let Set do whatever it is he's planning to do.
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Have you ever met him? The Devil?
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(( There's another shuffling as Emmanuel turns onto one side, back to Horus. ))
Are you very familiar with my religion?
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[No.]
no subject
I think... Humans, we want to think life isn't just random chaos. We need the believe in something more. Whatever it was in the beginning, my faith is something different now. The opposition of God and Satan is usually painted as good versus evil but...
The God of the Old Testament flooded the world. He punished humanity for nothing greater than disobedience. Does that sound like a loving and caring God to you? Does it sound like someone with an over abundance of forgiveness in His heart?
Evil is often defined as acting a morally incorrect way. But human morals are far from some standard universal force. If the Devil really is evil, he'd have to change and adapt perpetually to fit every possible idea of what evil is. It doesn't make a lot of sense to position God as goodness and Satan as evil. Even the dichotomy of order and chaos doesn't quite work. There are so many unanswered questions.
If I ever meet the Devil, I'd like to ask him some.
(( And that's probably the most Emmanuel's said to anyone in one sitting in years. Congratulations, Horus. ))
no subject
Then it's treated like... more of a competition. Not like Ma'at, which is meant to be eternal. One side, good or evil, is eventually supposed to win. Is that right?
[And again, this is why Horus respects him so much. All Horus wants to do is tear Set limb from limb, but Emmanuel wants to look his supposed enemy in the eye and try to understand him more thoroughly. Even after suffering such a huge loss so early. And despite having all these questions and doubts, he never stops in his task because people need his help.]
That just proves what I said. You do things for the right reasons. I think that's why Dad gave me this job - he figures I can learn from you.
no subject
(( There's also the whole damned and saved thing, but it's not really important at this juncture. ))
Maybe? Whatever the reason, I'm glad to know you.
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Yeah? [Horus's smile is audible in his voice because he's absolutely beaming.] Same here, man.
[He finally settles back into bed then, looking up at the ceiling without feeling all that tired at all anymore. With a glance over at Emmanuel's back, he asks:]
How you feeling over there? Think you can sleep again? [The most general of questions, as if both of them aren't perfectly aware that Horus knows what state he was really in.]
We can wrap this one up or go on to morning if you like.
I'll get there.
(( It takes some time, but thankfully his shame at having been exposed like that went a long way in killing the feelings that inspired his stupid little fit to begin with. Once he gets back to sleep, it's mostly sound. ))
no subject
When he closes his eyes, he's immediately accosted by the mental image of Emmanuel's face while caught in the throes of what he now knows to have been arousal. Flushed, gleaming with sweat, contorted from the intensity of sensation...
His eyes fly open again. A couple of deep breaths, and he closes them.
This time he sees the outline of Emmanuel's erection straining against his pyjama bottoms and pitching a very respectably-sized tent.
Welp. Maybe Horus won't be trying to sleep for awhile.]