(( It's a valid fear. These last few minutes have had Siwan outside of his realm of experience. They've left him out of depth and simply unable to think clearly. But with the haze clearing... Seb's fear is completely valid.
Ah, but that pleading in his voice tugs at something in Siwan. He chews his lower lip a moment before leaning back just enough to look at Seb without going cross-eyed. There's only a little hesitance before he reaches up to press a hand to Seb's cheek. ))
[Seb's heart sinks. He hears that "but" loud and clear.]
You don't have to - to change anything for me. I'm not gonna insist you leave her or make anything official with me, I swear. I won't get in the way of your life. I can be your secret.
[Ugh, what is this side of him? His own words make his stomach turn but he can't seem to stem the tide.]
(( Siwan's stomach churns, too, for a wholly different reason. The smart thing would be to call this the end of it, to get up and go on with his life exactly as it was before with this one little blemish in his otherwise pristine history.
But Siwan can't. He can't let go of that spark that ignites whenever he so much as thinks of Seb. That man's practically a stranger still and yet... Siwan doesn't want to let him go. He doesn't...
His other hand comes up, fingers combing through Seb's hair. Siwan's just staring at him with those doleful eyes, a crease between his brows. He should go. He should. Siwan wets his lips and manages in barely more than a whisper: ))
You deserves more than that...
(( But... ))
But... I want to be selfish. I can't get you out of my mind. I think I'll go mad if I let you slip away...
(( Siwan's so used to secrets. He kind of hates it about himself. So he doesn't feel like Seb should be some dirty little secret, tucked away from the world. But if he really wants Seb (and, oh, how Siwan wants him!), that's all it can be unless his situation drastically changed somehow. ))
No one deserves to have to be hidden.
(( Alas. Siwan sighs and he finally closes his eyes, too, letting the hand against Seb's cheek slide back to tangle loosely in his hair with the other.
He should go. He should run and never look back. Ah, but how empty would the life he's going back to feel without this fire that Seb lights? Who knows how long it will last. Maybe it's something completely physical, maybe it's just having a taste of something Siwan's always denied himself. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe he's forgotten that Hyejin will probably kill him if she ever finds out (he thinks it literally, not in hyperbole). Or maybe Seb's worth that kind of risk.
Emboldened, Siwan leans in, closing that slight distance between to brush his lips in the softest of touches against Seb's. Then the discomfort in his pants becomes a little too much to ignore. He sighs and shakes his head. He should insist Seb gets up so he can get his suit case and change. He opens his mouth to do just that, but instead says: ))
[Oh... that's a lovely kiss. It sends a giddy flutter all through Seb's chest and brings a smile to his lips. Without that kiss, he probably would've blurted out that he's accustomed to not even being acknowledged so "hidden" would be a step up, but now he feels strong enough to avoid completely melting down.
No one kisses somebody like that before walking away.
The offer that follows makes Seb sit bolt upright, wide-eyed and slack-jawed for a moment as the impact of it sinks in.]
(( This is a bad idea. But Siwan doesn't want to stop. He wants to spend more time with Seb. It doesn't even have to be like this. Siwan has his job to do after all, but outside of work? He'd be all Seb's. The apartment he has out of town is more than big enough to accommodate a second person. His entire family could stay there and still have room to avoid each other. ))
[Oh, but surely Seb's smile will make him feel a little better about this terrible choice? His big, beaming smile, bright and warm as a sunbeam through the window on a winter day? Like the purest possible distillation of happiness?
Seb all but lunges forward and kisses Siwan with his hands on either side of his face, a goofy and theatrical display that still only captures a sliver of his excitement.]
Okay! Yes! I'll come along! I can text Opet's sitter en route, he works with reptiles at the sanctuary so she's always in good hands no matter how long I'm away. Oh, I need to pack... I need to change, ugh...
[Just like that, he's up and off Siwan's lap in a shot to start buzzing excitedly around the apartment. Siwan may as well go get his suitcase because Seb's in a world of his own.]
(( That smile. It's a good thing Siwan's seated or that beautiful, bright smile would have made his knees weak. How can any one person shine so brightly with just a smile?
A startled noise morphs into a quit laugh at the theatrical production that follows. But once Seb is gone from him lap... Well, it's cold and empty and... the sticky is drying so uncomfortably. ))
[And Seb buzzes off in the opposite direction, opening The Door that was so carefully kept closed and revealing His Bedroom beyond it. Not that his bedroom even seems that thrilling anymore when they're going on holiday together - okay, a work trip, but it's a holiday for Seb! He's allowed to think of it that way!
After some digging around in his drawers, he finds a pair that should account for any height or build differences and brings them out to Siwan after a quick stop in the bathroom. He almost went to suggest that they have a shower together to get properly cleaned up, but a very wise part of him chose to hold off just in case the thought was enough to make Siwan's head explode.]
Here you go! There are spare washcloths and towels in the bathroom too if you wanna clean up more thoroughly. I'll be in my room packing, you can come in after or sit back out here... whatever's comfortable for you.
[Oh yes, he's very careful now. This is a victory he didn't even know he could win, and he won't do anything that could spoil it.]
(( Siwan's not a great deal shorter than Seb, but he might be a bit slimmer. Seb felt more compact and muscular to him. Ah, what a distracting memory! It's okay, it's okay! Sweats have drawstrings so it will be okay.
It's absolutely endearing and adorable and a whole host of other charming adjectives how happy Seb is. It's enough to make Siwan forget he ever thought this was a bad idea. It's a thought that will inevitably come back at some point, but right now? Seb's cheerfulness is infectious. But he's still very aware of the mess he made of himself and when Seb hands him the sweat pants, he hold them strategically. ))
Thank you.
(( Now with the protection of a borrowed garment, Siwan makes his way to the bathroom to clean himself up. He's pretty quick about it, and feels just a little regretful that he's going to be commando in Seb's pants. Since the rest of his clothes definitely weren't intended to be worn with sweat pants, he sheds the button-down, folding it neatly to add to his suitcase before they go. He'll do some laundry as soon as they arrive. When he emerges from the bathroom in those loose sweats and a simple black tank top that was under his shirt, he looks around. Not seeing Seb in the living space, he hesitantly pokes his head in the bedroom door. ))
[What a picture Siwan makes standing there in the doorway, bare-armed and casual with his hair still mussed from Seb's eager hands. Seb doesn't think he's ever looked more gorgeous than in this moment, not even when he caught that first glimpse from across the bar.]
C'mon in. [Seb has a small roller suitcase open on his bed with the basics piled in - underwear, socks, casual tops and pants.] Anything specific I should bring?
[He doesn't want to imply that Siwan might take him anywhere nice - they've established that he's a secret, after all - but he'd also hate to be caught without the right fit for something that could be fun. Hell, maybe the place has a pool! There are any number of reasons Seb could need something that hasn't crossed his mind.
As soon as Siwan's within reach, Seb won't be able to keep himself from touching some newly exposed part of him. A hand on the shoulder that lingers before trailing down his arm, an admiring look following the path of his hand. Fuck, he really is just flawless.]
(( Secret though this relationship needs to be, that doesn't mean Seb's going to be cooped up in the apartment the whole time. They can always go out together socially as long as things remain relatively casual for the public view. Meals, walks, things like that. He'd hate for Seb to feel like he has to stay inside and be bored. Seb will have a key so he can come and go as he wants when Siwan's working. And if they happen to be seen publicly together, Siwan can stick with the lie Seb put in his phone: that they're colleagues.
He pads closer, trying not to be too nosy as he inspects the contents of Seb's bag. ))
Swimwear, if you want to use the pool or spa. Maybe one nice outfit so we can get dinner.
(( By nice, he just means nice trousers and shirt. It doesn't have to be a suit or anything that formal. Just because Siwan lives and dies in suits doesn't mean anyone else has to.
That first touch of Seb's fingers on his bare skin pulls a sharp breath from Siwan. He has a typical business sort of job that doesn't keep him physically active, so Siwan supplements that sedentary part of his day with regular activity: walking, cycling, swimming, even trips to the gym. It keeps him in decent shape and health (and it gives him good excuses to postpone returning home). This close, Seb might also take note of some pale, almost healed bruises near his shoulders, just above the elbows, around his neck. They've lost most darkness and even the green tinge has faded to a sickly yellow.
Siwan shivers slightly. It feels like the first time they touched in that bar all over again. ))
Um... pajamas? I think there are spare house shoes at the apartment. There's laundry there, too, so we can wash anything.
[Just when Seb seems like he can't possibly look happier, Siwan delivers more good news and his face lights up even brighter. They're going out for dinner together?? And there's a pool?? Oh, this is gonna be the best week of his life, no question.
Siwan's reaction to his touch sparks a new flicker of heat low in Seb's gut but no, no, he has to focus. There'll be nothing but time for them to mess around when they're on a work holiday together. Has anyone ever invited him into their life this early before?
... no, he doesn't want to compare Siwan to the others. This is different. He won't taint Siwan with that association.
To keep himself from getting too distracted by Siwan's quickened breathing, Seb moves from his dresser to the closet and chooses a good shirt, slacks, and a blazer to hang in his garment bag. Only once it's zipped up and settled beside his suitcase does he allow himself to look up at Siwan again - and that's when he notices the ring of bruising on one side of Siwan's neck.]
Whoa... what happened here? [His joy is considerably dimmed by the sight, his voice soft with concern. If Siwan's life is really as passionless as he claims, and Seb has no reason to doubt him, then - this looks an awful lot like someone tried to strangle him.
(( It's sweet how happy Seb is. Siwan's happy, too! Nervous, but also very glad he blurted out the invitation. What better chance to spend some time getting to know other could have presented itself? His heart's still racing over it all (or is it that he still hasn't managed to completely calm down from what they were doing before?).
But that dark cloud that passes over Seb's face makes him keenly aware of the fact that he's not as protected by his clothes as he'd usually make sure he is. Well, now Seb can put together why Siwan's always in collared shirts and long sleeves. He looks down, hand twitching as if it wants to move to touch the now faded bruises. He knows what Seb's asking about, clearly. ))
[Seb sounds dubious, not uncertain. This looks a lot more like Siwan is covering for something or somebody than unconcerned about the bruising. He almost looks guilty, which gives Seb one hell of a chill.]
If you're in some kinda danger, I want to help. I'm more than equipped to, believe me.
(( Siwan takes a few steps to close the distance between them and reaches out for both of his hands. Seb's concern probably shouldn't be as moving as it is, and yet... It truly does warm him. ))
[Well... if Siwan says it while holding his hands and looking at him so tenderly... Seb still seems reluctant to drop the issue, but he finally nods and gives Siwan's hands a squeeze before turning back to his dresser for the last couple of items he needs.]
I know you're a gentle type of guy, so... even if this offer sounds weird, just take it and put it away somewhere in case you ever need it. [There's no making this offer sound anything but weird. Seb can just feel, very deep down, that Siwan might have use for it one day.] I will hurt people for you if they're asking for it and you don't wanna dish it out.
(( Yeah. There's really no way that doesn't sound incredibly sketchy. Is Seb in a gang? Is he some kind of criminal? He could be! It's not as if Siwan knows much about him at all. But... would that matter much at this point? It doesn't sound like whatever he's suggesting is going to drag Siwan into deep water. And, it's just a suggestion, something Siwan can file away in the back of his mind and forget about for now.
He takes a moment to think about what the say in response. He doesn't want to dismiss Seb, but he also doesn't want him potentially getting into any kind of trouble on Siwan's behalf. ))
[Good. That's enough to ease his mind for now, even without knowing who left those bruises.
Seb pulls out his pyjamas and swimsuit and tucks them into his suitcase, then zips it up after one last once-over to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. There are still his personal grooming products to grab from the bathroom but they can go in the front pocket.]
There! I'm all ready. We should probably finish that amazing dinner, huh?
(( Dinner? Siwan blinks, then lifts a hand to cover his mouth as he laughs. ))
I'd completely forgotten!
(( Seb was quite the distraction, after all. Maybe now that they've gotten that out of their systems, they can sit and eat like two grown adults. Thankfully, the dishes heat up well in the microwave and are just as enjoyable as they would've been completely fresh.
Before they leave, Siwan gets fresh clothes from the suitcase in his car. He wouldn't dare travel dressed in sweat pants and a tank top! No, it's right back to dress slacks (grey) and a button-up (black). No blazer or tie this time. This is about as casual as anyone outside of a private space will ever see Siwan.
The train ride is uneventful. It's late so any conversation is brief before Siwan drifts off to sleep. It's even later (or maybe it's very, very early) when they arrive. A car service picks them up to take them to the apartment, which is huge. Luxurious, even. It's in the penthouse of a highrise building, sprawling but sterile. It sort of makes sense not to have any personal touches since no one lives there full-time.
After the first day or so, Siwan seems more relaxed when they're alone together. Unless he's meeting with a client or colleague, he's able to spend a lot of his working hours in the apartment. He stays in the office there when he's working, but always pops out to have lunch with Seb, either there or at a nearby restaurant. It's important to him that Seb knows he's not confined to the place — he's free to come and go and Siwan's completely willing to be seen with him in public.
Seb will learn that Siwan likes to have music playing often. Jazz, blues, and big band are among his favorites. He can cook a little, but excels at breakfast. Siwan runs every day, swims every night (enjoy that heated pool, Seb!), and makes time to work out (yes, the building has its own gym) every other day while they're there. At some point they end up talking a little about their pasts and families. Siwan speaks mostly with polite regard about them and his life of obligation. It's only when he speaks about his children that he seems really happy — he's soon to be a first-time grandfather!
Seb shared a bit in turn, seeming even more reserved and hesitant on the top than Siwan. It all makes since when Siwan learns more about Seb's situation in life. Estranged from his parents, looked after by what appear to be a caring aunt and uncle. His relationship with his cousin seems like a bright spot for him and Siwan finds himself glad Seb's got that.
Mornings are easiest. Siwan's slow to remember to put his mask on in the morning, which leads to easier affection and, well, other things that one might assume would stem from it. Waking up with Seb in bed with him could be a contributing factor, too. That wasn't the plan, initially. Seb was set up in one of the other rooms, but ended up in Siwan's the first night (which Siwan's not complaining about at all). It's all very pleasant until their last day arrives and some existential dread starts to creep back into Siwan's mind. It's not until they've gone out for the nice dinner he promised, spent some time in spa, cleaned up from all that and find themselves laying in bed together for the last time until who knows when that Siwan makes a proposal. ))
I make this trip every other month. I wouldn't be unhappy if you'd come with me again.
(( There's a hopeful note in his voice. If Seb could come with him on these trips... Well it's a safe way for them to meet and spend time together. He'll do his best to find time between them to see Seb, too, but... At least this would be something they could count on. ))
[Siwan isn't the only one who's found a new level of comfort and relaxation over the past week. It may be harder to notice in Seb because he's got such a flawless front-facing act for any situation that might arise, but he starts to speak more honestly instead of considering the exact right response to make Siwan think better of him. His almost manic excitement at being in Siwan's company mellows into fond contentment, and he develops the ability to lie in Siwan's arms and drink up their soothing warmth without going straight to arousal.
Sometimes, anyway. There's still plenty of arousal to go around. They've been skirting the edge of actual penetrative sex all week and Seb's not exactly pent up because of it, not when they've been so active otherwise, but it gets more powerful as a fantasy every time it doesn't happen.
He's considering whether he should bring it up when Siwan makes a much, much better offer, one that leaves Seb feeling like his heart could explode from happiness. Every other month... that means he's finally become a firm part of Siwan's future plans. He really does have a place in Siwan's life. It's enough to make him hide his face against Siwan's chest for a moment because he has to compose himself before answering.
Propped up on an elbow, he brushes Siwan's hair away from his forehead and says, with a beaming smile:] You could take me anywhere and I'd be down for the trip, so this? Yeah, there's no way I'd ever turn it down. This is like the pharaoh life.
[He adores Siwan, yes, but he's also more than a little bit dazzled by his wealth. After all, he was a river god, not a prince or king - fineries are one thing, but the full package is quite another.]
(( He hardly notices the shift from Seb's front-facing persona to the more earnest version of him. Hardly, but it doesn't go unnoticed. There's a moment where it simply clicks that Seb's not longer putting a great deal of thought in carefully choosing what he says or ho w he behaves. It's nice to see him relaxing the longer they're together, just as Siwan is.
He chuckles quietly. Siwan's aware that he's what people could consider ultra-wealthy, but... his social circle never cared about that because they were all from similar backgrounds and families. Not that he ever felt like he wanted to impress people with it. ))
Maybe it is like the pharaoh life. But with less responsibility?
(( He smiles warmly up at Seb, reaching up to trail his fingers lightly along that sharp jaw. It still doesn't feel real. This man, this wonderful, beautiful man wants to be here with him. If it's a dream, he doesn't want to wake up yet. ))
If you'll let me, I'd like to spoil you just a little.
[Why does that choice of words, spoil you, make Seb's cheeks heat up and his ears flush red? It's nearly impossible to embarrass or fluster him most of the time, but the notion of being pampered by Siwan seems to do the trick.
Maybe because it's the first thing he's done or said that has a whiff of dominance to it, despite the care with which he's chosen his words?]
I'm not gonna turn that down, [Seb says with a coy smile, eyelids fluttering at Siwan's gentle touch but never falling completely shut.] And I'll spoil you just as much, in my own way.
[Not something he needs to clarify, but he still leans down to kiss Siwan long and deep so he knows exactly how Seb wants to spoil him.]
(( Would Seb be surprised to learn that taking care of people makes Siwan happy? He doesn't mean it strictly in the 'I'll buy you nice things' sort of way. In just a week Seb seems like a much happier person than the one he met that night in the bar. Maybe this connection beyond that initial animal attraction (which, of course, is still there!) is what they both really needed.
Siwan's about to say he already feels spoiled, but when he sees Seb leaning in, he refrains. Instead, he rises up just slightly to meet him part way, to melt completely into the heat of that kiss. Speaking of that very powerful animal attraction... Siwan slides his palm against Seb's jaw, back further until his fingers tangle in his hair to keep him close. It is their last night together for a while so, shouldn't they make it special? ))
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Ah, but that pleading in his voice tugs at something in Siwan. He chews his lower lip a moment before leaning back just enough to look at Seb without going cross-eyed. There's only a little hesitance before he reaches up to press a hand to Seb's cheek. ))
I want to.
(( There's an unspoken 'but' hanging there. ))
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You don't have to - to change anything for me. I'm not gonna insist you leave her or make anything official with me, I swear. I won't get in the way of your life. I can be your secret.
[Ugh, what is this side of him? His own words make his stomach turn but he can't seem to stem the tide.]
Please.
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But Siwan can't. He can't let go of that spark that ignites whenever he so much as thinks of Seb. That man's practically a stranger still and yet... Siwan doesn't want to let him go. He doesn't...
His other hand comes up, fingers combing through Seb's hair. Siwan's just staring at him with those doleful eyes, a crease between his brows. He should go. He should. Siwan wets his lips and manages in barely more than a whisper: ))
You deserves more than that...
(( But... ))
But... I want to be selfish. I can't get you out of my mind. I think I'll go mad if I let you slip away...
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How can I deserve more than exactly what I want?
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No one deserves to have to be hidden.
(( Alas. Siwan sighs and he finally closes his eyes, too, letting the hand against Seb's cheek slide back to tangle loosely in his hair with the other.
He should go. He should run and never look back. Ah, but how empty would the life he's going back to feel without this fire that Seb lights? Who knows how long it will last. Maybe it's something completely physical, maybe it's just having a taste of something Siwan's always denied himself. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe he's forgotten that Hyejin will probably kill him if she ever finds out (he thinks it literally, not in hyperbole). Or maybe Seb's worth that kind of risk.
Emboldened, Siwan leans in, closing that slight distance between to brush his lips in the softest of touches against Seb's. Then the discomfort in his pants becomes a little too much to ignore. He sighs and shakes his head. He should insist Seb gets up so he can get his suit case and change. He opens his mouth to do just that, but instead says: ))
Why don't you come with me?
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No one kisses somebody like that before walking away.
The offer that follows makes Seb sit bolt upright, wide-eyed and slack-jawed for a moment as the impact of it sinks in.]
Are... are you serious? You mean it?
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Please don't give me a chance to change my mind.
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Seb all but lunges forward and kisses Siwan with his hands on either side of his face, a goofy and theatrical display that still only captures a sliver of his excitement.]
Okay! Yes! I'll come along! I can text Opet's sitter en route, he works with reptiles at the sanctuary so she's always in good hands no matter how long I'm away. Oh, I need to pack... I need to change, ugh...
[Just like that, he's up and off Siwan's lap in a shot to start buzzing excitedly around the apartment. Siwan may as well go get his suitcase because Seb's in a world of his own.]
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A startled noise morphs into a quit laugh at the theatrical production that follows. But once Seb is gone from him lap... Well, it's cold and empty and... the sticky is drying so uncomfortably. ))
Um, do you have pair of sweat pants I can borrow?
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[And Seb buzzes off in the opposite direction, opening The Door that was so carefully kept closed and revealing His Bedroom beyond it. Not that his bedroom even seems that thrilling anymore when they're going on holiday together - okay, a work trip, but it's a holiday for Seb! He's allowed to think of it that way!
After some digging around in his drawers, he finds a pair that should account for any height or build differences and brings them out to Siwan after a quick stop in the bathroom. He almost went to suggest that they have a shower together to get properly cleaned up, but a very wise part of him chose to hold off just in case the thought was enough to make Siwan's head explode.]
Here you go! There are spare washcloths and towels in the bathroom too if you wanna clean up more thoroughly. I'll be in my room packing, you can come in after or sit back out here... whatever's comfortable for you.
[Oh yes, he's very careful now. This is a victory he didn't even know he could win, and he won't do anything that could spoil it.]
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It's absolutely endearing and adorable and a whole host of other charming adjectives how happy Seb is. It's enough to make Siwan forget he ever thought this was a bad idea. It's a thought that will inevitably come back at some point, but right now? Seb's cheerfulness is infectious. But he's still very aware of the mess he made of himself and when Seb hands him the sweat pants, he hold them strategically. ))
Thank you.
(( Now with the protection of a borrowed garment, Siwan makes his way to the bathroom to clean himself up. He's pretty quick about it, and feels just a little regretful that he's going to be commando in Seb's pants. Since the rest of his clothes definitely weren't intended to be worn with sweat pants, he sheds the button-down, folding it neatly to add to his suitcase before they go. He'll do some laundry as soon as they arrive. When he emerges from the bathroom in those loose sweats and a simple black tank top that was under his shirt, he looks around. Not seeing Seb in the living space, he hesitantly pokes his head in the bedroom door. ))
Hey.
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C'mon in. [Seb has a small roller suitcase open on his bed with the basics piled in - underwear, socks, casual tops and pants.] Anything specific I should bring?
[He doesn't want to imply that Siwan might take him anywhere nice - they've established that he's a secret, after all - but he'd also hate to be caught without the right fit for something that could be fun. Hell, maybe the place has a pool! There are any number of reasons Seb could need something that hasn't crossed his mind.
As soon as Siwan's within reach, Seb won't be able to keep himself from touching some newly exposed part of him. A hand on the shoulder that lingers before trailing down his arm, an admiring look following the path of his hand. Fuck, he really is just flawless.]
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He pads closer, trying not to be too nosy as he inspects the contents of Seb's bag. ))
Swimwear, if you want to use the pool or spa. Maybe one nice outfit so we can get dinner.
(( By nice, he just means nice trousers and shirt. It doesn't have to be a suit or anything that formal. Just because Siwan lives and dies in suits doesn't mean anyone else has to.
That first touch of Seb's fingers on his bare skin pulls a sharp breath from Siwan. He has a typical business sort of job that doesn't keep him physically active, so Siwan supplements that sedentary part of his day with regular activity: walking, cycling, swimming, even trips to the gym. It keeps him in decent shape and health (and it gives him good excuses to postpone returning home). This close, Seb might also take note of some pale, almost healed bruises near his shoulders, just above the elbows, around his neck. They've lost most darkness and even the green tinge has faded to a sickly yellow.
Siwan shivers slightly. It feels like the first time they touched in that bar all over again. ))
Um... pajamas? I think there are spare house shoes at the apartment. There's laundry there, too, so we can wash anything.
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Siwan's reaction to his touch sparks a new flicker of heat low in Seb's gut but no, no, he has to focus. There'll be nothing but time for them to mess around when they're on
a workholiday together. Has anyone ever invited him into their life this early before?... no, he doesn't want to compare Siwan to the others. This is different. He won't taint Siwan with that association.
To keep himself from getting too distracted by Siwan's quickened breathing, Seb moves from his dresser to the closet and chooses a good shirt, slacks, and a blazer to hang in his garment bag. Only once it's zipped up and settled beside his suitcase does he allow himself to look up at Siwan again - and that's when he notices the ring of bruising on one side of Siwan's neck.]
Whoa... what happened here? [His joy is considerably dimmed by the sight, his voice soft with concern. If Siwan's life is really as passionless as he claims, and Seb has no reason to doubt him, then - this looks an awful lot like someone tried to strangle him.
And if that's the case, then someone has to die.]
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But that dark cloud that passes over Seb's face makes him keenly aware of the fact that he's not as protected by his clothes as he'd usually make sure he is. Well, now Seb can put together why Siwan's always in collared shirts and long sleeves. He looks down, hand twitching as if it wants to move to touch the now faded bruises. He knows what Seb's asking about, clearly. ))
It's... Nothing you need to worry about.
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[Seb sounds dubious, not uncertain. This looks a lot more like Siwan is covering for something or somebody than unconcerned about the bruising. He almost looks guilty, which gives Seb one hell of a chill.]
If you're in some kinda danger, I want to help. I'm more than equipped to, believe me.
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I'm not in any kind of danger. I promise.
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I know you're a gentle type of guy, so... even if this offer sounds weird, just take it and put it away somewhere in case you ever need it. [There's no making this offer sound anything but weird. Seb can just feel, very deep down, that Siwan might have use for it one day.] I will hurt people for you if they're asking for it and you don't wanna dish it out.
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He takes a moment to think about what the say in response. He doesn't want to dismiss Seb, but he also doesn't want him potentially getting into any kind of trouble on Siwan's behalf. ))
I'll remember.
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Seb pulls out his pyjamas and swimsuit and tucks them into his suitcase, then zips it up after one last once-over to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything. There are still his personal grooming products to grab from the bathroom but they can go in the front pocket.]
There! I'm all ready. We should probably finish that amazing dinner, huh?
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I'd completely forgotten!
(( Seb was quite the distraction, after all. Maybe now that they've gotten that out of their systems, they can sit and eat like two grown adults. Thankfully, the dishes heat up well in the microwave and are just as enjoyable as they would've been completely fresh.
Before they leave, Siwan gets fresh clothes from the suitcase in his car. He wouldn't dare travel dressed in sweat pants and a tank top! No, it's right back to dress slacks (grey) and a button-up (black). No blazer or tie this time. This is about as casual as anyone outside of a private space will ever see Siwan.
The train ride is uneventful. It's late so any conversation is brief before Siwan drifts off to sleep. It's even later (or maybe it's very, very early) when they arrive. A car service picks them up to take them to the apartment, which is huge. Luxurious, even. It's in the penthouse of a highrise building, sprawling but sterile. It sort of makes sense not to have any personal touches since no one lives there full-time.
After the first day or so, Siwan seems more relaxed when they're alone together. Unless he's meeting with a client or colleague, he's able to spend a lot of his working hours in the apartment. He stays in the office there when he's working, but always pops out to have lunch with Seb, either there or at a nearby restaurant. It's important to him that Seb knows he's not confined to the place — he's free to come and go and Siwan's completely willing to be seen with him in public.
Seb will learn that Siwan likes to have music playing often. Jazz, blues, and big band are among his favorites. He can cook a little, but excels at breakfast. Siwan runs every day, swims every night (enjoy that heated pool, Seb!), and makes time to work out (yes, the building has its own gym) every other day while they're there. At some point they end up talking a little about their pasts and families. Siwan speaks mostly with polite regard about them and his life of obligation. It's only when he speaks about his children that he seems really happy — he's soon to be a first-time grandfather!
Seb shared a bit in turn, seeming even more reserved and hesitant on the top than Siwan. It all makes since when Siwan learns more about Seb's situation in life. Estranged from his parents, looked after by what appear to be a caring aunt and uncle. His relationship with his cousin seems like a bright spot for him and Siwan finds himself glad Seb's got that.
Mornings are easiest. Siwan's slow to remember to put his mask on in the morning, which leads to easier affection and, well, other things that one might assume would stem from it. Waking up with Seb in bed with him could be a contributing factor, too. That wasn't the plan, initially. Seb was set up in one of the other rooms, but ended up in Siwan's the first night (which Siwan's not complaining about at all). It's all very pleasant until their last day arrives and some existential dread starts to creep back into Siwan's mind. It's not until they've gone out for the nice dinner he promised, spent some time in spa, cleaned up from all that and find themselves laying in bed together for the last time until who knows when that Siwan makes a proposal. ))
I make this trip every other month. I wouldn't be unhappy if you'd come with me again.
(( There's a hopeful note in his voice. If Seb could come with him on these trips... Well it's a safe way for them to meet and spend time together. He'll do his best to find time between them to see Seb, too, but... At least this would be something they could count on. ))
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Sometimes, anyway. There's still plenty of arousal to go around. They've been skirting the edge of actual penetrative sex all week and Seb's not exactly pent up because of it, not when they've been so active otherwise, but it gets more powerful as a fantasy every time it doesn't happen.
He's considering whether he should bring it up when Siwan makes a much, much better offer, one that leaves Seb feeling like his heart could explode from happiness. Every other month... that means he's finally become a firm part of Siwan's future plans. He really does have a place in Siwan's life. It's enough to make him hide his face against Siwan's chest for a moment because he has to compose himself before answering.
Propped up on an elbow, he brushes Siwan's hair away from his forehead and says, with a beaming smile:] You could take me anywhere and I'd be down for the trip, so this? Yeah, there's no way I'd ever turn it down. This is like the pharaoh life.
[He adores Siwan, yes, but he's also more than a little bit dazzled by his wealth. After all, he was a river god, not a prince or king - fineries are one thing, but the full package is quite another.]
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He chuckles quietly. Siwan's aware that he's what people could consider ultra-wealthy, but... his social circle never cared about that because they were all from similar backgrounds and families. Not that he ever felt like he wanted to impress people with it. ))
Maybe it is like the pharaoh life. But with less responsibility?
(( He smiles warmly up at Seb, reaching up to trail his fingers lightly along that sharp jaw. It still doesn't feel real. This man, this wonderful, beautiful man wants to be here with him. If it's a dream, he doesn't want to wake up yet. ))
If you'll let me, I'd like to spoil you just a little.
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Maybe because it's the first thing he's done or said that has a whiff of dominance to it, despite the care with which he's chosen his words?]
I'm not gonna turn that down, [Seb says with a coy smile, eyelids fluttering at Siwan's gentle touch but never falling completely shut.] And I'll spoil you just as much, in my own way.
[Not something he needs to clarify, but he still leans down to kiss Siwan long and deep so he knows exactly how Seb wants to spoil him.]
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Siwan's about to say he already feels spoiled, but when he sees Seb leaning in, he refrains. Instead, he rises up just slightly to meet him part way, to melt completely into the heat of that kiss. Speaking of that very powerful animal attraction... Siwan slides his palm against Seb's jaw, back further until his fingers tangle in his hair to keep him close. It is their last night together for a while so, shouldn't they make it special? ))
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