no1likeme: (Default)
Mariel ([personal profile] no1likeme) wrote in [community profile] unknownballad2025-01-01 12:01 am
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Open RP Post


{ rp with me }
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horussment: (i dare you to try me)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-13 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
[Horus is faced away from the door looking out the window when Emmanuel knocks; the sound of his voice pulls Horus halfway across the room in two long, quick strides before he forces himself to stop and maintain a respectful distance. All he wants to do is scoop Emmanuel up in a huge hug but everyone in the room knows that wouldn't be such a good idea.]

Hey. I'm - I'm sorry I worried you.

[Osiris's eyes dart from one of them to the other and back. Absurd as he knows it to be, he suddenly feels like a third wheel.]

Please feel free to stay here and talk as long as you like. I'll be down in the cafe.
theurgie: (lk084)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-13 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
(( Horus isn't the only one who moves closer. But Emmanuel, too, stops leaving some distance between them. Maybe they can can put some blame on spending so much time in that car together. Confined space, unable to really stay too far apart... Not that that negates any of their responsibility for their actions, it just adds contexts.

Emmanuel nods to Osiris and waits for him to depart before addressing Horus. He'll ask him to come back when they're done talking. There's something he'd like them both to hear, after all. But this matter right now is between him and Horus. ))


I'm sorry, too. That I made you feel...

(( He doesn't know the specifics of what Horus felt exactly. He only knows it wasn't a good thing. ))

That I made you feel like you did something monstrous. You didn't.
horussment: (try me)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-13 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
It's always been me, though, hasn't it? [Earlier, to his father, Horus brought this up through torrents of tears. Now that he's feeling less like a monster, he just sounds exhausted.] Starting things off. Maybe I didn't... force anything, but I have taken advantage and you can't just let me off the hook for that.

[Eyes darting away from Emmanuel's face as his cheeks redden just a bit, Horus continues:]

But the signals coming from you do get pretty damn confusing sometimes.
theurgie: (lk068)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-13 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
(( There's a lot to address here and Emmanuel wants to address it all. All of it. First and foremost in his mind: ))

I see where you're going with this. The only thing I know of that you superficially share with him is a hot temper. A lot of others, completely unrelated to you, have that trait. It's not some curse in your blood. Horus, I'm begging you not to compare yourself like that. Not for this.

(( Again, he has to fight the urge to step closer, to lay a hand on his arm or takes his hands to drive home the point. But Horus is also right: Emmanuel's signals haven't been the clearest and that's something he needs to work on, be mindful of.

He brows draw together, creasing above his nose as he takes in a quick breath as if to announce he isn't finished yet, please wait a moment longer. ))


The lines we crossed, we crossed together. I'll take my share of the blame. It's not fair or right for you to shoulder it all when I stepped over the line with my eyes wide open. It's so hard to watch you blame yourself for my weakness.

(( He presses his lips together and nods to himself. ))

I know I haven't, I don't, make this easy for you. Even without my vows, this is completely uncharted territory for me. I never expected when I dedicated myself to the priesthood that I would meet anyone who would make me want them more. I'm sorry for my part in leading you on.
horussment: (to fix what you had torn)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-13 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[Horus looks like he wants to object, to insist that Set has nothing to do with what he's feeling right now, but Emmanuel has seen through him so completely that there's really no point. Of course the idea that he could've forced himself on anyone to any degree makes him think of Set, even if it's only been a handful of kisses. Emmanuel is right, though, and Osiris has already told him as much earlier.]

Sharing blame sounds fair to me. ["Leading you on" is a bit harsh, but Horus has been just as harsh on himself, hasn't he?] From now on, it doesn't matter what I think I'm seeing or hearing from you - it doesn't happen again. Not under any circumstances. I mean, this is just ridiculous, we're both grown adults and I -

[Oh. What was that he was about to say? His hesitation is brief but definitely long enough to notice before he retreats and takes a different path.]

- I care about you too much to not be able to do this. I've been just as weak and the fallout's never been worth it. [Since they're both too leery of touch to move any closer to each other, Horus just hopes that the tenderness in his gaze will be enough to offer some comfort.] I don't want to hurt you. In any way.
theurgie: (lk022)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-13 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
(( Okay. A small step closer. They're still more than a civil distance apart. But it feels like the right way to convey that he's listening, that he understands, that he agrees. ))

You have never hurt me. Not once.

(( He lowers his yes slightly in thought, then smiles so very gently at Horus when he lifts it again. ))

The next time we feel that pull between us, let's walk away. Let's separate ourselves instead of moving closer. And if we can't, let's think of something, some code to say so we know one of us is struggling.
horussment: (got blood on my hands)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-13 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[That declaration makes Horus's throat feel tight and he has to look away as well, though he looks right back when Emmanuel lifts his head.

His suggestion makes sense. It leaves room for both of them to get overwhelmed, be tempted to cross the line, unlike Horus's assertion that he just needs to control himself. And a code is a very clever way to avoid language that might accidentally upset them.

(Let me go. Horus will still be haunted by the sound of those words, even now that he knows the situation wasn't as extreme as he thought.)]


Yeah. That's a good idea. If we're both taking blame, we should both take responsibility, right? [Horus returns the smile, his own a bit fragile but equally warm.] And I - well, we can ask first for things like holding hands, or touching a shoulder or something for comfort.

[You know, the way Osiris knew to do instinctively. They have their own unique strengths and weaknesses, these two.]
theurgie: (lk004)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-13 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. We're both responsible for ourselves and our... (( only a fleeting second of hesitation )) our relationship. We simply have to use our words and communicate with them instead of our bodies. We can manage that, I'm certain.
horussment: (you asked too much)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-14 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
[Relationship!!!

Horus's wan smile bursts wide open with sudden, startled glee. He's so bad at keeping up with the stages and developments of this thing between them and has been since it started, but apparently that doesn't matter anymore because it's gone from a thing to a relationship.]


Are - you my boyfriend? Can I call you my boyfriend? Not all the time, obviously, just between us. Is that okay?
theurgie: (lk009)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-14 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
(( Oh. That reaction makes warmth explode in his chest. What emotional whiplash this evening's been! He suddenly feels the weight of exhaustion but also relief. So much relief that he also smiles, quite openly. ))

I'm okay with that, between us.

(( It's Horus's label. It's okay. It's not crossing any lines. And, well, it makes Emmanuel happy, too. Another step closer and Emmanuel holds out his hand. ))

DO you think it's okay if we...?

(( He looks down at his extended hand. ))

And we can think up our code. I'd like to do that before I asked Osiris to join is. There's something I want to say to you both. But... this is important for you and I and I want to resolve it as best we can, first.
horussment: (took me long but i'm here)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-14 12:58 am (UTC)(link)
[This has to be the most innocent and pure Horus's affection for Emmanuel has ever felt, so he's more than happy to accept that proffered hand and lace their fingers together.

As to the issue of the code -]


Hmm... it should probably be something we don't have much reason to say on a regular basis, but also something easy to remember... [Horus's first thought had been something in his own ancient language, but how would Emmanuel keep that in his head? As he tries to filter through the near-infinite number of options for something just right, a memory pops into his head unbidden and his smile curves into a playful grin.]

Bedbugs.

[Nothing less sexy than that, right? And it's even got meaning to them!]
theurgie: (lk021)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-14 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
(( He's so visibly relieved when their hands touch. Relieved that they're able to ask and answer when they want this kind of affection. Able to actually touch without exploding into teenage hormones. Emmanuel gives Horus's hand a gentle squeeze... but then barks a laugh at his choice of code word. ))

Bedbugs is perfect.
horussment: (Default)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-14 02:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is the feeling Horus has to draw on when his desire wants to overwhelm him. This uncomplicated and boundless happiness that has nothing to do with greed or guilt and always feels like enough to sustain him for a thousand lifetimes. Even when Horus looks right into Emmanuel's eyes, there's no immediate need to look away for fear of being drawn in closer.

Sex is easy to find. This... this is...

... it is, isn't it?]


I - love you, Emmanuel. [As soon as the words are out, Horus's gaze drops to their hands. He's intensely shy about making such a grand statement, but he knows it's true.]
theurgie: (lk054)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-14 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
(( Oh. It really isn't the sentiment that shocks Emmanuel. He's been loved. He had a loving family, once upon a time. He knows what it feels likes to both give and receive love. It really shouldn't be shocking. And, to some degree, it's not. Brash and emotive as Horus is, he's never struck Emmanuel as someone who's just horny for someone he can't have. Never, not once. He's never felt like Horus's actions and feelings lacked depth.

But hearing it out loud. Hearing it and knowing his heart echoes the sentiment. Knowing he shouldn't say such a thing back... Emmanuel lifts Horus's hand and presses the back of it to his cheek. He hears, he understands. Just give him a moment to breathe it in and bask in it.

And then, whispered so softly against the back of Horus's hand it could have been imagined: ))


I love you.
horussment: (got blood on my hands)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-14 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[Horus's eyes slip shut and he smiles with shaking lips that reveal just how much emotion Emmanuel's response has brought to the surface. He's not sure he was expecting to hear those words back right away, simply because Emmanuel has shown himself to be a man who deliberates on everything that doesn't require immediate action. The fact that he's certain enough to say so now...

... well. It leaves Horus speechless for quite a long time, just drinking in the warmth of contact that doesn't immediately demand more. Maybe, given enough time, they can even learn to hold each other with this same sort of peace. Everything and anything feels possible now.]


Uh... [He sounds sheepish about breaking the silence.] ... I guess we can probably tell Dad to come back now, huh?
theurgie: (lk026)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-14 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
(( The silence isn't uncomfortable. The warmth between them doesn't feel like it's on the verge of an explosion of fire. It's proof they can have this kind of contact, this kind of intense emotion without launching themselves at each other mindlessly. It's proof that Emmanuel didn't need, but he's oh-so-grateful to have.

Nor is it uncomfortable when Horus speaks again, breaking this pleasant silence between them. ))


If you're ready.
horussment: (took me long but i'm here)

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-14 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, "I have something to tell you both" is sort of designed to make a person feel nervous, but I'd say I'm ready. I'll text him.

[Horus sends off the message and Osiris rejoins them a couple of minutes later, visibly relieved by how much more relaxed both of them look.

(If Horus drops Emmanuel's hand when the doorknob turns, it's only out of respect for his dad. Nothing personal.)]


Hey Dad... everything's good now. Emmanuel just has something to tell us.
theurgie: (lk043)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-14 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It's nothing bad!

(( He's quick to assure while Horus is sending that text. It's something he wants to tell each of them and it will just be more efficient to say it while they're both in the room.

And don't worry, Horus, Emmanuel doesn't take it personally. PDA isn't really something he's big on when there are others to witness it. Best to just keep it private. More comfortable that way.

But he smiles warmly when Osiris enters, none of the fondness or warmth from the moments before leaving. How could they when he's with the two he cares about most? ))


I feel like I owe you both some explanation. I hope maybe it can foster more understanding between us and why, despite my feelings, why I have to behave as I do. It isn't that I think my vows are more important than either of you. It's just that... if I cannot keep this one promise I made, what good will any of my future promises be?

(( There's a short pause while he collects the rest of what he's planning to say. He thought long and hard about it at the church tonight before he returned to talk to them. It's important to him, even if they've both already accepted the limits of their respective relationships with him. Emmanuel owes them a more thorough understanding of why it has to be that way for him. ))

There is something written in the holy book of my faith that has become something of a mantra to me, especially recently. Matthew, chapter 26, verse 41: watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

When I took my vows, I couldn't imagine anything would ever tempt me, that anything could possibly fulfill me the way my faith does. Chastity, abstinence, they're seen as mortification of the flesh, a way to bring oneself closer to God by sacrificing comforts and pleasures of the body. It was, quite honestly, never a sacrifice for me... until now. And I wouldn't change any of it. Knowing you, the temptation of you... You both enrich me and make my life better, fuller than I imagined it could be. I wouldn't ever want to change that, even when it's difficult.

That... that's all I wanted to say.
patchworkgod: (pic#17807643)

of course osiris's response is a novel (1/2)

[personal profile] patchworkgod 2025-05-14 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[While Horus remains close to Emmanuel during this speech, Osiris moves to sit in his office chair and props an elbow on the desk, his chin resting on his fist while he listens.

He's not sure Emmanuel did owe them more explanation, but Osiris is interested in a purely intellectual way by what his words reveal about his faith. Rejection of external comfort to turn attention inward and upward certainly rings true for any number of other religions that have developed throughout the world, though the focus on dangerous temptations seems uniquely Christian - Osiris can see the value and beauty in such an approach even if it was never demanded of their people.

Constant challenge, he thinks. The need to avoid complacency within oneself. It's admirable, and quite obvious that Emmanuel believes in it with all of his heart if he sees an added challenge as enrichment. That maintains a type of balance as well, which Osiris can obviously respect.

When Emmanuel is finished, Osiris glances over at Horus and, seeing that he's nowhere near ready to speak yet, takes the initiative.]


Thank you, Emmanuel. I do feel as though I know you much better now, though I'm sure I'll need to pore back over your words in my memory several times before I feel satisfied that I've understood them fully.

[Now to address the one point with which he disagrees, and quite strongly so. He lifts his head and rests his hand on the desk, fingertips tracing patterns over its surface as he considers how best to say this without devaluing Emmanuel's point of view.]

But when you say that the dissolution of a single vow would reflect poorly on your ability to keep your word going forward... I hope this isn't condescending, but I fear that the comparatively short lifespan of a human may blind you to the countless changes a person undergoes within that lifetime and, indeed, how many different people they can be as a result. What is evergreen in childhood rarely lives to see the death bed, and some promises will inevitably be lost in that process as their relevance wanes.

I don't mean to discourage disloyalty to your faith, which you so obviously embody with a full heart. To see you speak about it so fervently makes you all the more beautiful in my eyes. I only want to offer you the perspective of someone whose vows have changed their faces many times over the thousands of years I've known some form of life.
horussment: (try me)

2/2

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-14 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[Why did he let his dad go first?? How is he supposed to follow that up?]

... yeah, I need to sit with this before I'll have any idea what to say without making an ass of myself. [Osiris hides a fond laugh behind his hand, to which Horus just glares playfully at him.] But I'm glad you told us too, and... I hope you know you've got nothing else to explain, and you never had anything to apologize for.

That's actually quite eloquent, Horus.

Uh-huh. [Horus rubs the back of his neck, his cheeks going pink.] That's all I've got right now. Just - don't think you need to prove anything to us. Ever. Okay?
Edited 2025-05-14 21:27 (UTC)
theurgie: (lk021)

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-16 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)
(( Warmth spreads out with each beat of his heart after being heard and listening to the input of two so very dear to him. They listened. They heard what he had to said, how important it is to him, and they accepted a part of him that many people don't even try to understand. Maybe because they're gods, they take faith a little differently than the average human (especially these days).

A not insignificant part of him wants to argue that perhaps some promises have more weight than others. That perhaps people fling around "I promise" and "I swear" as easily as "I love" when they're really just talking about ice cream and not a person to whom they want to dedicate their short human lives. The love of a sundae isn't the same life-changing love one has for a soulmate. The promise not to be late this time isn't as far-reaching or meaningful as the promise to dedicate one's life to something greater than themselves. If those can change direction with the wind, well, it's hardly dedication is it?

But he knows Osiris's perspective is valid. It comes with the great distance of time and experience Emmanuel can't even truly fathom. Yes, he knows how old the cultures of the Ancient world are speculated to be, but ha can a person who barely lives a hundred years truly understand thousands of them? Yes, his life is short. That's all the more reason he should be able to keep his promises.

Finally, a slow smile unfurls itself across his face. ))


Thank you. Both of you.

(( What comes next feels almost silly with the context of who and what they are... ))

I feel very blessed to have you in my life.
patchworkgod: (now we crash like lighning)

and now the shortest tag in this thread by far

[personal profile] patchworkgod 2025-05-17 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I suppose that means we haven't lost our touch.

[Yeah, Osiris just made a joke about it. He's not immune to the odd dad joke.]
theurgie: (lk015)

the angels approve of the dad joke

[personal profile] theurgie 2025-05-18 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
(( And Osiris is going to meet with the same withering look Horus's first attempts at humor with him met. ))
horussment: (things got out of hand)

1/2

[personal profile] horussment 2025-05-18 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[The joke doesn't get a laugh, but Horus lets out a hoot of laughter at Emmanuel's expression.]

The look! You got the look!! Feels like you're never gonna be warm again, doesn't it?
patchworkgod: (our edges keep moving further out)

[personal profile] patchworkgod 2025-05-18 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[And Osiris is just left like this.]

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humor? never heard of her.

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