That's the part Horus has been missing. He thought the "but" implicit in all this was "but we can't be together in any way, it'll all just have to be nebulous feelings." Osiris was so worried because he actually gets it - Emmanuel is offering them every part of himself that isn't restricted by his role with the church. He's giving everything he can.
Horus already has him.]
I'm really lucky you're so patient with me. [His voice is suddenly shaky. In fact, he's a bit shaky all over.]
(( And even this skirts what Emmanuel's allowed by his vows. Even this fondness, this affection (he dare not even think of it as more) is beyond what he's allowed. But surely if they all just play along and pretend... Surely if he simply keeps what's in his heart between them... As long as no name is put to it... ))
[This constant urge to touch Emmanuel, to hug or caress or kiss him, is going to become more and more unbearable the closer they get. If anything's likely to drive Horus crazy, that'll do him in long before Emmanuel's bond with his dad does.
Still worth it, but oh, he's feeling the ache deeper than ever.]
You mean all of us, right? [Horus's sheepish grin grows into a warm, soft smile. That sentiment is probably enough to tell Emmanuel what he needs to know.]
[Horus misses the warmth of Emmanuel's hand the moment it's gone, but no longer feeling it there does nothing to diminish the joy that's lit up his face.]
Well, talking specifically about me... I'm really, really happy. And if Dad's this happy too, there's no way I can see that as anything but good.
(( Oh. Happiness really suits Horus. The way it softens him leaves Emmanuel unable to look away for a moment. Maybe he should. This feels so much like staring into the sun. ))
[Happiness suits Horus? It only takes the tiniest grin or softest breath of laughter from Emmanuel to make Horus feel like the wind's been knocked out of him, so right now he's in the exact same trap of being unable to look away.
One of them has to look away. One of them has to look away soon. The rest of the world has melted away behind Emmanuel, there's no one but him, and one of them has to look away soon or the deafening thump of Horus's heartbeat is going to make him do something stupid again.]
(( It's like being under some pleasant spell. Like feeling the warmth of the sun after a long, grey winter. Emmanuel could enjoy this indefinitely. Thankfully, a car honking across parking lot reminds him exactly where they are. He finally blinks and looks away, clearing his throat. ))
[The sudden noise snaps Horus out of their shared trance as well and he laughs, shaking his head at himself.]
I keep forgetting what we're actually supposed to be doing. Let's go. [When they're back in the car, Horus asks:] You think we should hold onto the hotel room now that we're gonna get a warning when Set's feeling better? Or should we check out and stay on the move?
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Oh.
That's the part Horus has been missing. He thought the "but" implicit in all this was "but we can't be together in any way, it'll all just have to be nebulous feelings." Osiris was so worried because he actually gets it - Emmanuel is offering them every part of himself that isn't restricted by his role with the church. He's giving everything he can.
Horus already has him.]
I'm really lucky you're so patient with me. [His voice is suddenly shaky. In fact, he's a bit shaky all over.]
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We're both navigating unknown territory here.
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Still worth it, but oh, he's feeling the ache deeper than ever.]
You mean all of us, right? [Horus's sheepish grin grows into a warm, soft smile. That sentiment is probably enough to tell Emmanuel what he needs to know.]
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(( He lets his hand linger just a few seconds more, fingers curling just slightly against the fabric of his shirt before falling back to his side. ))
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Well, talking specifically about me... I'm really, really happy. And if Dad's this happy too, there's no way I can see that as anything but good.
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I'm relieved. And happy! Very happy!
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One of them has to look away. One of them has to look away soon. The rest of the world has melted away behind Emmanuel, there's no one but him, and one of them has to look away soon or the deafening thump of Horus's heartbeat is going to make him do something stupid again.]
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We should get going.
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I keep forgetting what we're actually supposed to be doing. Let's go. [When they're back in the car, Horus asks:] You think we should hold onto the hotel room now that we're gonna get a warning when Set's feeling better? Or should we check out and stay on the move?
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(( It'll give them somewhere to fall back on if they need it. At least they'll have a place to shower when the need gets great. ))
I think it's safe to say Set's probably not tracking us through any records a hotel might keep.