unknownballad | ❝ Ghosts don’t haunt us ❞

Something changed. Something significant. Duri couldn’t pinpoint what or ho exactly, but it was the lingering impression he felt. Impressions were all he had. He couldn’t remember anything before the world seemed to shift for him. Everything had a faded quality, like he was walking through fog. The world was quieter, less saturated.

More jarring than that was that no one noticed him. Not on the streets, not in the shops. Everywhere he went, he remained unseen. After only a few days (days? He’s not sure, time felt different, too), Duri came to the very logical conclusion that he must be dead. That would explain so much.

Were spirits supposed to stick around and wander the world after their bodies died? He didn’t know. Regardless, he felt like he had to stay, like there was something he needed here, still. Not that he knew what that was.

Needless to say, he was shocked the first time someone approached him and addressed him directly.

Normally, reapers such as this one have names with times and dates, they are given locations and cause. Normally, they know when and where someone is going to die so they can be there when it happens. No one is left to wander the world with no place to belong. Reapers like Doyun are waiting to help them through whatever regrets they may still have or anything they feel they've left unfinished (either help them to see it through to the end, to see that they come to terms with the fact that it will remain as it is so they can move on), and then escort them to their afterlife.

Doyun quite likes it because it really cuts down on the amount of people who are left alone after their entire world changes. No one should be alone after their life ends.

But sometimes, people slip through the cracks. Sometimes a death is too sudden and too unexpected and it happens before anyone realizes. Someone who is expected to die peacefully in their sleep sixty years from now may take a wrong turn somewhere and could have died ten minutes ago. And then there are times when they just don't make it in time. Yes, the reapers are plentiful, but so are deaths. And on top of all that, while Doyun can't speak for others, he's not infallible. He was human once and still makes human mistakes.

Doyun's late. He hates being late. Whoever decided on 'better late than never' was an idiot. Well no, that's a little too mean, but the sentiment is there. Trotting up to the wandering spirit, Doyun stops directly in front of him so there can be little mistaking who he's addressing. He's trying to take as much of the guess work out of it as he can. He bows deeply, eyes locked onto the ground in front of him as he speaks. "Duri, I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner. It wasn't my intention to leave you on your own for so long."

Oh. Not only does Doyun walk directly up to him, he calls him by name. Duri can't help but blink. Has he adjusted to being invisible to everyone around him? Probably not, but he's getting there. Until Doyun comes up to hm, bows to him, and talks to him.

"... you see me? Am I dead?"

There's an almost imperceptible relaxing of Doyun's shoulders and a wash of relief that passes over his features when Duri doesn't ask who he's talking about, or correct him about his name. Not that he's prone to those sorts of mistakes, but they do happen sometimes. Especially when it comes to those who didn't make it to his handy list.

He tries not to let Duri see any of that relief, though, because that would imply there was something to worry about and that's simply not something Duri needs right now. When Doyun straightens, his expression is mostly neutral with just the barest hint of sadness and disappointment for Duri's unfortunate situation. He's not sure he'll ever get the expression quite right. A little something always seems to slip through.

"Mm yes. I see you," he confirms with a quick nod of his head. But then there's that followup question and it's so direct that it momentarily catches Doyun off guard. Normally, people talk around the question, alluding to it but never coming right out and saying it. And then there's the people who have no idea and it's up to Doyun to break the bad news to them instead of just confirming what they already know. Duri is a slightly more rare sort.

"I'm sorry, yes. You've died. That's why no one else has been able to see you. And that's actually why you can see me."

Duri listens closely. He nods once, slowly, when Doyun's finished explaining. It makes sense. Well, at least the faded quality to the world around him and his apparent invisibility. Yes, it makes sense. And... it's easy to accept. Perhaps because he doesn't remember anything before? There's nothing for him to miss or to cling to.

Right?

"Is that why I don't remember anything?"

It's easy to let go of a life you don't remember having. Or one you didn't like having, but that's another matter entirely. Most of those in Doyun's temporary companions remember too much of their lives. They remember those left behind and all of the things they didn't manage to accomplish before their untimely demise. They cling to what they've lost. It's understandable, but it's never easy. Not for the victim, and not for Doyun. But no one ever said that any of this would be easy. Quite the contrary, actually.

Doyun sadly shakes his head. "No. Most people remember their lives even after they've passed." Doyun still remembers almost too many details from the life he left behind even though it's been long enough that- Well, he'd just like to forget already. "Something must have happened to make you forget about your life. A..." This isn't for him to decide to not tell Duri something because it's hard for him to say. This isn't about him. Much of his purpose is 'the hard part'. "A tragic or horrific death might have done something to your memories. Sort of like how in life you can sometimes block out traumatic memories." He sighs (a completely unnecessary gesture. Breath is for the living) and rubs the back of his neck. "I don't really know anything about you yet, though, so I can't say for sure. But maybe we can find out."

A tragic or horrific death... "...Oh..." He doesn't know what happened, but what Doyun says resonates. If it's not normal to forget everything, then there must be a reason that Duri has. Maybe it's best that he doesn't know, but then, why does he feel like he should know? Shouldn't he know? Isn't it too selfish to slip away unburdened when someone somewhere might be grieving him alone?

"Could we try?"

❝ Ghosts don’t haunt us ❞

@soultaker

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject