Logic really has no place when feelings are involved. The more intense the feelings, the further away the logic. And when the feelings get to be a lot, it's so easy to look at a situation and see all the places where you can fit in personal fault, which much makes the feelings worse, which just means placing more personal blame. Maybe if he checked on his grandparents a little sooner than one night, or if he'd stayed home from school that other day, maybe he would've been able to see their rapid decline. Maybe he couldn't called the hospital and saved them.

"Thank you, Yohan." Hayun grabs a fistful of Yohan's shirt and curls himself into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "For a long time, I wanted to go with them. I just didn't want to be alone anymore, and I had no one to talk to about it." Which also meant he had to talk himself out of it in the end. "I didn't want to be here anymore. I didn't want to raise myself and learn how to take care of an entire house on my own." Though the house was his own choice. He kept his grandparents deaths a secret from everyone he could so he could keep living here, so they wouldn't take him away and put him in foster care of something. "It was a lot to deal with on top of them dying and I didn't want to do it anymore."